Students Upset University Working Second Job at Hotel to Provide for Them

One topic has completely dominated the discourse of the student body this semester. Texas A&M, a hardworking university, decided to get a second job to provide for its students. Students have become irate at their university’s decision even though the school is just trying to help provide for their needs.  

“It’s true: I have been struggling to make ends meet,” said Texas A&M University, a 141 year old institution. “I know my students may resent me for it now, but ultimately, I need the money in order to make sure they could be taken care of. I’m sure one day they’ll realize that and forgive me.”

It is no secret that in order to support its students throughout their time in school, Texas A&M University chose to take out tremendous loans to guarantee their success. “I borrowed $450 million to make sure my students could stay happy eight weekends a year, while they lived under my roof,” said Texas A&M. “If I didn’t take a second job at Cain Hotel, there is no way I could make the income necessary to provide for the lifestyle my students ask for. My students want to play on all these sports teams that cost so much.”

While the university adamantly defended its position that an additional source of income would help those depending on its provision, many students disagreed. “Texas A&M has served us too many frozen Chartwells meals for dinner to care all of a sudden,” said Maxwell Rockatansky, a senior construction science major. “This second job is going to take away what little time Texas A&M has for us and use it on entertaining fancy donors at a new hotel.”

“I just wish it would spend more time thinking about us and our studies, rather than maintaining the campus budget,” said Julian Viz, a freshman philosophy major.

Viz was not alone in her belief. In fact, most students would rather Texas A&M focus on making sure the students felt cared for than making sure the lights stayed on.

 

– Netflix and Drill