Chartwells Introduces New Feedback Program to Ignore Negative Reviews

Every day, over 50,000 students attend classes at Texas A&M University. With such a large student body, the university trusts only one catering service to provide nutrition to their students: Chartwells. The factor that truly sets Chartwells apart from the competition, aside from their promise “to nourish the bodies, minds and spirits of our students and pave the way for a​ lifetime of success and well-being,” is their data-driven customer feedback program. This program includes an Emoji Reaction Kiosk(TM) at the exit to each of their dining halls, where customers can rate their experience.

Recently, Chartwells has been running into problems with their data, claiming that the survey results were overwhelmingly negative. The Mugdown reached out to Chartwells representative, David Gordon, for comment.,

“At first, we were worried students were not enjoying our fresh and delicious food. However, we soon realized the data was incorrect since because we made some major sampling errors,” said Gordon. “You see, the problem isn’t that we have low-quality food; it’s that we have low quality voters.”

Gordon went on to say that the data is a result of students not fully understanding how the kiosk worked. “While it may seem simple to us, we now realize it was not fair to expect the general population to be able to decipher its function so easily,” said Gordon. As a result, Chartwells will be overhauling its review button protocol and will begin requiring “Review Registration” training in order for student to be eligible to have their criticisms heard.

Although the details of what this training will look like have yet to be released to the general public, some beta testers have come forward to voice their opinion. “It was super easy. All The only question I had to answer was which dining hall I attend regularly, and I was free to vote,” said Sadie Legenton, a member of the Texas A&M soccer team. When asked about her dining hall preferences, she said, “As an athlete, I pretty much only go to Slocum Nutrition Center. It’s fantastic!”  

We reached out to another tester, cadet Hank Howard, for his experience. “I wasn’t able to pass,” said Howard. “The first question asked where I ate, and being a cadet, I said Duncan Dining Hall. Then, it made me watch a two hour video on vegetable preparation, only to tell me afterwards I wasn’t qualified.”

Chartwells has assured the university that this new system will better reflect the criticisms of the student body, or at least the ones that matter.

—Hazed and Confused