Archaeologists Discover Ancient Classroom Hidden Behind Wall of Flyers in Blocker
Archaeologists working for Cushing Memorial Library came across a fascinating discovery this week after their Blocker excavation finally broke through. The team, led by Dr. Ted Goebel, uncovered an entirely forgotten classroom hidden behind the layers of flyers on Blocker’s interior south wall.
The excavation began in 2016 after the Great Sewage Flood of October 10th. Old flyers were exposed in some places by the flood, giving the archaeologists an opportunity to begin digging. The expedition sought to resolve rumors of an ancient crypt hidden within Blocker. Traditional Aggie legend holds that Blocker was assembled in 12 days by E. King Gill as a mausoleum to house the recently deceased Old Army.
The excavation was slow at first. According to the dig site reports, the top layer of flyers was difficult to breach. “At first, we were literally just scratching the surface. You might find Rio Frio Fest posters from last Spring Break or a Reed Rowdies flyer from when we were good at basketball, but nothing truly ancient. That was pretty disheartening,” said Goebel.
After months of careful surface work, the expedition finally made real progress. “I just couldn’t believe it. I knew we were getting somewhere when we ran into all of these flyers from the 1980s,” said Goebel. “They were really faded, but our translators were able to decipher the text. A few mentioned a ‘G. Rollie’—likely the name of a 20th century king.”
After months of labor, several budget cuts, and three injuries, the dig team discovered a dark and musty room. Experts claim that the room has been sealed for at least two thousand years. “It was a pretty gruesome sight,” said Goebel. The forgotten classroom was filled with a foot of standing water and had skeletons strewn about. “This is fascinating, but not the fabled Old Army crypt we were looking for. The adventure continues!”
The University has since started work to turn the lost room into a quiet study area.
—Bacon & Ags
It’s Sunday morning and you’ve woken up hungover and confused. “Man, last night’s house party was one for the books,” you think as you try and recall something, anything, about the party. The smell of bacon floats in from the kitchen, and you stumble over to see who’s cooking. You stand there in bewilderment— Bacon & Ags has cleaned up all of the empty bottles, cans, and Solo cups. He has cinnamon rolls warming in the oven, bacon on the stovetop, and an assortment of fruits on the table. You stutter, “Wow… I… uh… well,” but he cuts you off. “I just love a good brunch,” he says. “And since you threw such a great party, I thought the least I could do was clean it up and cook us some brunch! Here, I made some quiche— have some!”