Thickly Bearded Man Disappointingly Normal Thickly Bearded Man Disappointingly Normal
COLLEGE STATION — Onlookers were disappointed when they realized Jim Templeton, a sophomore general studies major with an abnormally full beard, was completely normal. Thickly Bearded Man Disappointingly Normal

COLLEGE STATION — Onlookers were disappointed when they realized Jim Templeton, a sophomore general studies major with an abnormally full beard, was completely normal.

“He isn’t a rock climber. He isn’t uniquely quirky. He doesn’t drive a moped. He doesn’t play harmonica or some other interesting instrument. He doesn’t wear eccentric thrift shop clothes. He doesn’t even own Chacos. We’ve literally exhausted all of our options,” said Harrison Kim, a local authority on facial hair and owner of a well-groomed handlebar moustache.

Jim’s normalcy was first discovered when he admitted that he did not actually know that “super sick, under the radar” band everyone else was talking about. Upon further investigation, bystanders determined Jim was extraordinarily average.

Despite everyone’s disappointment, Jim’s beard has remained intact. He has sworn to better hide his mediocracy from now on.

 

—5K for Yell

mm

5K for Yell

Yes, you have met her, and yes, she knows your friend so and so from that thing that one time. She has handed you fliers, she has yelled at you from her banner holding post, your friend introduced her to you that one time in the MSC, you are friends on Facebook, and she is in at least two of your GroupMe’s. You hate her for always looking like she just worked out, but in reality she just has to be constantly maintaining a comfortable jog to get to her next meeting on time. We have never actually seen her in person, but sometimes she emails us good jokes, so we let her stay affiliated.

No comments so far.

Be first to leave comment below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *