Every fall, many newly-single freshmen enter Texas A&M declaring their independence and commitment to remaining single for the foreseeable future. After some time of friend making and FLO mingling, freshmen inevitably pair off in precisely the manner they swore against. In a matter of weeks, these pseudo-couples go from happy “lunch dates” to heartbreak. To track this phenomenon, we followed freshman business major, Mitch Collins through his romantic odyssey.
We started talking to Collins in early September, after his recent acceptance to a FLO. “Fish Aides has been such a blast so far!” said Collins. “I have loved meeting such friendly guys and girls. I recently broke up with my high school girlfriend, though, so I am more interested in making guy friends right now and hanging with the bros.” Collins’ initial front was convincing, but time would prove him wrong.
Collins contacted The Mugdown the next day in a surprisingly quick follow-up. “A bunch of us Faides went to Fuego last night for the first time, and one of the girls, Sally Donovan, was in the group. She is so much different than the girls I went to school with because she is just real and asks such intentional questions,” said Collins. He denied claims of liking her, but said he was considering asking her to have lunch at the MSC.
After two weeks of silence, Collins once again reached out, following the first Chi-O date party. “I’m telling you guys right now, Sally is the one! I have never been so sure about something since I came to college,” said Collins as he recounted his evening of infatuation. “I can see us now at our son’s first high school football game at Westlake!”
Two days later, Collins came forward with the sad news that Sally wanted only to pursue friendship for the sake of heart guarding. “Sally was my person. I thought she was my future wife. Now, I don’t even know what to think anymore,” said Collins.
Donovan declined to comment, and Hullabaloo Hall sources report she just dated Collins for his dining dollars.
—Koldus & Cream