Monday, December 23, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Introduced to Protect Closeted Aggie Liberals

By 5K for Yell , in Elections , at September 28, 2016 Tags: , , , , ,

After Monday’s presidential debate, political awareness at Texas A&M is at an all-time high. While many informed voters can easily regurgitate Breitbart articles about Hillary Clinton’s health or provide backwash of their parents’ political views, others struggle to come to terms with their political education. Texas A&M has pioneered a policy to protect any closeted liberals: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The policy proposes that, if a student suspects another of having liberal views or being #WithHer, they are to avoid any further political inquiries.

Those who have yet to tell their friends and family about their true political identity have expressed gratitude for the University’s efforts to help them fit in with the rest of the student body.

“I thought that when I left home, I would be able to stop hiding who I really am,” said an anonymous freshman. “Texas A&M is just such a conservative place… I don’t know if people will be okay with, you know, me being a liberal.”

The University’s hope is that liberals will no longer need to lie when asked for their opinion on social or economic matters, thus eliminating the chance of any secretly left-leaning student accidentally outing themselves. In return, University officials ask that such students keep their political views private. To help members of both parties comply, members of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell task force have provided tools and suggestions to make the effort successful.

think-outside-2

With two weeks left of voter registration, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell seems a timely and necessary policy to keep inter-student dialogue civil, lively, and entirely one-sided. Hillary supporters will have a higher chance of fitting in with their peers, while members of the GOP will be able to emulate Trump’s “winning temperament.” The initiative is expected to facilitate a more cohesive and unified atmosphere within the Aggie Family.

As every Aggie knows, “from the outside looking in you can’t understand it”— so don’t be on the outside.

 

—5K for Yell

 


To learn more about who’s running, how to register, and how to vote in this upcoming election, visit Gig the Vote’s website.

If you would like to vote by mail or are from out-of-state, click here for state-by-state absentee voting instructions.