21 Year Old by Hours Gets Arrested, MIP 21 Year Old by Hours Gets Arrested, MIP
In a surprising move made by law enforcement last week, a Texas A&M student was arrested for possession of an alcoholic beverage. These arrests... 21 Year Old by Hours Gets Arrested, MIP

In a surprising move made by law enforcement last week, a Texas A&M student was arrested for possession of an alcoholic beverage. These arrests are weekly occurrences for CSPD, and typically are no cause for special attention. However, in this unprecedented case, the perpetrator faces a Minor in Possession charge, despite claiming to be technically 21 years old by credit hours.

Sophomore Geophysics major Candace Kline, who asked to remain anonymous, was arrested on Friday night after the police were called on the ring dunk she was attending. “I came into college with several dual credit hours for all the drinking I did in high school, and I even got a 4 on my AP Lit Test,” said Kline . “After all the bars I’ve snuck into, and all the drinks I have had in my life, I qualify to be of legal drinking age by now!”

Mobile phone footage recovered from the scene shows Kline being handcuffed while yelling, “Well, technically I am a 21-year-old by hours, so—”.

According to Texas A&M officials, most credit hours obtained by drinking at community colleges do not transfer over to Texas A&M. The registrar suggests checking with academic advisors before claiming drinking credits on your transcript.

Chad Naralson, a sophomore transfer student from the University of Colorado, said, “I’m having to repeat nearly a whole year here at Texas A&M because they won’t accept all of the Pabst Blue Ribbon I’d throw down after a day on the slopes. It’s gotta count for something, right?”

After 90 drinking credit hours (45 of which must be from A&M), a student is qualified to dunk their Aggie ring. Those who do not reach the credit requirement upon receiving their ring are forced to dunk in something super lame like iced tea.

 

Bacon & Ags

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Bacon & Ags

It’s Sunday morning and you’ve woken up hungover and confused. “Man, last night’s house party was one for the books,” you think as you try and recall something, anything, about the party. The smell of bacon floats in from the kitchen, and you stumble over to see who’s cooking. You stand there in bewilderment— Bacon & Ags has cleaned up all of the empty bottles, cans, and Solo cups. He has cinnamon rolls warming in the oven, bacon on the stovetop, and an assortment of fruits on the table. You stutter, “Wow… I… uh… well,” but he cuts you off. “I just love a good brunch,” he says. “And since you threw such a great party, I thought the least I could do was clean it up and cook us some brunch! Here, I made some quiche— have some!”

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