Mysterious Group Responsible for Fish Spur Theft Mysterious Group Responsible for Fish Spur Theft
Fish Spurs, a long-held and audible tradition, has once again returned to campus. Students from Blocker to Wehner are alerted to the presence of... Mysterious Group Responsible for Fish Spur Theft

Fish Spurs, a long-held and audible tradition, has once again returned to campus. Students from Blocker to Wehner are alerted to the presence of freshman cadets by the ringing of their wire spurs. However, recent spur thefts have students asking, is it a massive crime wave or an act of vigilante justice that is sweeping Aggieland this week?

In the past, the sound provided fair warning and the ability to avoid the impending and awkward “Howdy.” Now, students are no longer prepared for their encounter with the khaki-clad kind until a cadet power walks by. Not all students are upset; many voiced their support for this vigilante group bringing peace and quiet to campus.

The organization, which has come forward under the secretive name “Fraternities”, has appeared on campus and tasked its initiates with liberating bottle cap spurs. This otherwise unknown organization appeared on campus almost overnight, and identifies its different sects using sorority letters.

Mitchell Kaiser, a senior Political Science major, is the investigative reporter for The Battalion tasked with uncovering information on the elusive group. “They appear to be a fringe group who at some point broke away from several of the Men’s Organizations on campus,” said Kaiser in Wednesday’s issue of The Batt.

In light of the recent developments, the Corps of Cadets has tasked its Corps Escort Service to conduct patrols around campus to prevent further theft.

Alex Jackson, a junior cadet, provided The Mugdown with this statement after preventing an attack on one of his fish:

“Making the fish wear spurs is one of the ways we assist students in avoiding interaction with freshman cadets. I don’t understand why anybody would go out of their way to prevent that.”

No matter how many pairs of spurs are lost, the ringing will continue to serve as the campus’ funeral chimes during the first round of exams. One thing remains uncertain: will the “Fraternities” be labeled as thieves, or will they be remembered for their selfless dedication to restoring silence to Aggieland?

—Netflix And Drill

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Netflix & Drill

Not like that, you pervert. Like Corps drills. Get your mind out of the gutter. “Why is ‘The Bridge on The River Kwai’ not on Netflix,” he shouts. Netflix & Drill doesn’t just stand for the Aggie football games, he remains standing for the entirety of every single weekend the Aggies play football, sitting down only to sleep.

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