Students Set Alarm for The Big Obligation

This saturday, 22,500 Aggies will wake up early and view their Big Event GroupMe for the first time since registering.  Across the Bryan/(mostly)College Station area, students will be at over 2,700 locations, spending the day cleaning up the community that they have been trashing for the past 364.

Pressured into participating by their organization’s leadership, students will manage to locate a Big Event shirt from years previous and pull it on before sulking out the door.  At first, the announcement that Big Event shirts would cost something was shocking,  but The Big Event realized that people would feel pressured to advertise their involvement regardless, and so did not waver on their decision to charge.

Those lucky enough to avoid going to Lot 61 for equipment pick up will be able to avoid the huge influx of people at Big Event Kick Off.  Instead, they will spend roughly the same amount of time waiting at local destinations such as Fuego or Shipley’s Donuts for food more filling than Starbucks breakfast bread.  When asked about their thoughts about the day, students gave mixed responses.  

Junior, Ranchland Management major Liam McPoyle said, “I think the peer pressure is a great way to get thousands of students to get something done for a community that really cares about students and isn’t just looking for free labor.”

Sophomore Physics major Andrea Farmington had a different point of view. “Well, I know that one of our ‘core values’ at Texas A&M is selfless service. I guess that it still counts when people are pressured into it. What does selfless even mean, anyway? I don’t actually know if this counts or not.”

Whether moral or not,  students will be checking their watches every three minutes this Saturday, waiting for their joyful service to finally be over.
-Netflix and Drill, North by Northgate & Beutel Call