Procrastinator’s Guide to Applying for Fish Camp
Part 1: Personal Information
- Fill out your name and contact information. Don’t stress, you can do it.
- Try to exaggerate your extracurricular involvement as much as possible. Hopefully you were in a FLO. If you were in a FLO, you are in. It could also really help to mention your sorority, men’s organization, or your history as a camp counselor. If you don’t put anything, they will think you are a friendless loser, so just make something up if you have actually done nothing in the past year.
- If you have been a counselor before and did a bad job, just don’t mention your previous camp in your Camp History and apply to be an inexperienced counselor again. That way, nobody goes looking for your evaluations and sees your awful reviews, and as a bonus, you won’t actually have any responsibility.
Part 2: Select Your Availability
- Remember to lie about your availability and select every session regardless of if you have summer school or not. This will increase your chance of getting selected!
- If you want to have the fun of Fish Camp but don’t want to attend any of the Sunday Developmental Programs or other trainings, apply for Pick Up! Then cross your fingers and hope that someone gets really sick or doesn’t make grades so you can swoop in just in time to pierce your eyebrow and get to Lakeview.
Part 3: Essay Responses
- Be sure to make yourself stand out by talking about how passionate you are. This is the one thing you have over every other person applying to be a Fish Camp Counselor.
- Even though the person reading your application will know that you are only applying to make counselor friends and get some cool apparel, it is best if you pretend that you are applying to help the incoming freshmen. You get an extra 5 points for every time you use the phrase “universally accepting environment” as a way to express your willingness to help the campers.
- If you mention Iceberry Blue in a funny way in the middle of one of your essays, they will know you are already in on counselor jokes and it will automatically make them like you more.
- If you are still struggling and find yourself in a time crunch, just fill in this helpful mad lib and submit it! It will look basically the same as everyone else’s application and put you on an even playing field.
When I first arrived at Reed Arena for my first day of camp, I was extremely (adjective) . I was surrounded by college students with (color) hair wearing (weird article of clothing) , and I didn’t know what to make of it. I was walked in to Reed accompanied by a guy holding a stick with a (noun) duct taped to the top that he kept waving around (adverb) . I (past tense action verb) into a large group of (adjective) incoming freshmen and started to learn the yells. After arriving at Lakeview, I was still feeling a little bit (adjective) but there were several counselors who went out of their way to talk to me, and that made me feel so (adjective) . Over time, I learned more about Texas A&M and our great traditions, and and it filled my heart with (emotion) . I understand the importance of Fish Camp and would love to be a part of this amazing group of people.
-Gigsaw Puzzle
Do you remember that old lady across the street? The one who you were pretty sure was a witch, but she was really good at hiding it? Not that you cared, of course. She always gave you those Werther’s Original® candies, and you’d be okay with anyone who gave you candy, regardless of their evil, supernatural powers. That woman is Gigsaw Puzzle. Did we mention that she can assemble a 1000 piece puzzle in under 45 minutes? Yeah, that’s pretty fast, according to Guinness. Like we said: witchcraft. There’s an excellent pun here about an author witch and her spelling, but the intern has been on a wordplay ban following last month’s incident.