The Bandwagon Aggie’s Guide to Basketball

The Bandwagon Aggie’s Guide to Basketball

There you have it, Ags. The Texas A&M Men’s Basketball team finally cracked (then uncracked) the Top 5 in this week’s AP and Coaches Poll, marking their highest position in school history. This means one thing and one thing only: We are a basketball school now and Kentucky can kiss our asses. Just like many other students, you are probably wondering how this happened so quickly and how one might become a follower without looking like a bandwagon fan, even though odds are good that you probably are one. We are here to break down Aggie Basketball as simply as we can.

 

What do you wear to a basketball game?

We always #WhiteOutReed, but why white? No one knows. Ladies, you cannot wear cowboy boots and a sundress to a basketball game. This is not football season.

 

Players to Know

 

Yells

The Reed Rowdies are being touted as one of this year’s best student sections in all of college basketball. You will find students heavily concentrated behind both baskets, accompanied by the Yell Leaders. Technically, every student is a member of the Reed Rowdies, but there is an actual organization with officers who are in charge of getting the students ready for the next big game. They sell shirts on campus and are in charge of promoting the hell out of games.

 

Free Throw Yells

 

• Everyone stays absolutely quiet and still, then they blurt out noises and flail their arms around just before the player takes his shot.
• Each student waves their arms around like they are pretending to do the backstroke while wailing, “Woooaaahhh! Wooooaahhh!”
• Don’t forget about holding up your Acme® Brick Sign and Shouting “Brick!” repeatedly, and in the ear of the person next to you.
• One of the more popular yells starts with holding one’s hands off to one side of their body and wiggling their fingers, quickly switching their hands to the other side just before the shot.
• There’s also something about newspapers? Our expert doesn’t even know this one.

 

Misc. Yells

• Loud shouting of the word, “Ball!” at random happens when the opposing team is looking for a player to inbound the ball to.
• When an opposing player fouls out, shouting “Left!” or “Right!” in unison with the player’s footsteps as he slinks to the bench helps the uneducated opponent make his short journey. Then, when he sits down, shouting–you guessed it–“Sit down!”
• The crowd favorite requires letting out a series of profanities and exasperated noises under one’s breath after Danuel House takes and misses yet another three point shot.
• When any of the players shoot (and make) a three pointer, both ends of the court jump in the air following the Yell Leader’s command. Don’t worry about jumping at the wrong time – the less in-unison, the better. C’mon, act like you’ve been there.

 

Anything else noteworthy

• Nothing says “family friendly fun” like a coordinated booty-shaking and hair-flipping from a gang of college girls in velvet yoga pants and tiny tops at every break in the basketball action. The Yell Leaders are still present, but even Steven Lanz’s dreamy smile is no match for hips that don’t lie.

• Basketball fans have been given the luxury of sitting down during timeouts. That’s right. In fact, you could stay seated the entire time if you’d like.
• Just like our football counterpart, we are not good at winning when we are at our best. Leading up to this Saturday’s matchup against the Iowa State Cyclones, the Aggies were undefeated in the SEC and ranked #5 in the nation until they were handed their first loss from the Arkansas Razorbacks on Wednesday.

Welcome to the bandwagon, Ags, and don’t forget that Reed Arena is, indeed, the same place where you go to Breakaway on Tuesday’s. Maybe that explains the hang out app. 

 

-Marco OVO Queso Polo & E. King Trill

PS: Thanks to RCB05 for the feature image. The intern really loves his stuff… never shuts up about him really.