Corps to Give Escorts Home for the Holidays
For all those Ags out there who have unfortunately fallen behind on their Ring By Spring timetable, the holiday season can be a difficult time to cope with. As a 16th generation Aggie, your family is heartbroken every time you fail to return with your perfectly paired redass soulmate. Fortunately for all of you loners, this tragedy is finally over.
The Fightin’ Texas Aggie Corps of Cadets recently announced that they will be offering new escort services. Not only will the cadets provide a safe escort to accompany students during late night strolls, they will now offer an escort to accompany students home for the holidays.
With a wide variety of options, you are certain to find your perfect match- or at least convince your parents and hometown ex that you have.
The Fish with Promise
These guys just started out, but what they lack in brass, they make up for in potential. By choosing them now, you make an investment that pays off in the future. Their hair is scarce, but their dreams are bountiful.
The Intellectual Band Kid
Your father is sure to love this choice. Being academically focused, this cadet has an impressive vocabulary and a GPA that will make up for (almost) any amount of social awkwardness.
Beau with Boots
Every Aggie dreams to date a cadet in boots. After four years of dedication and commitment, you know they will be ready for a serious relationship and a saber arch beneath the century tree by spring.
Thy Sacred Leader of Yells
To know and be known by a Leader of Yells is the highest honor. To even meet a Leader of Yells is divine and undeserved. If you are graced by their Aggie Spirit cloaked in all white, you are to fangirl and repent on the spot for all of the times you have even thought about yelling “BOO” at a football game.
After the holiday season, General Ramirez will determine if expanding the program to include Formal Dates, Wedding Escorts, and Valentine’s sweethearts will be a viable option for the cadets. Call 605-475-6961 for more information and reserve your Corps Escort today!
Return with honor (and your Aggie soulmate).
-5K for Yell
Yes, you have met her, and yes, she knows your friend so and so from that thing that one time. She has handed you fliers, she has yelled at you from her banner holding post, your friend introduced her to you that one time in the MSC, you are friends on Facebook, and she is in at least two of your GroupMe’s. You hate her for always looking like she just worked out, but in reality she just has to be constantly maintaining a comfortable jog to get to her next meeting on time. We have never actually seen her in person, but sometimes she emails us good jokes, so we let her stay affiliated.