Sight of Tour Group Causes Sudden Feeling of Superiority

Jason Sheffield said he was having a bad day until he saw a tour group on campus.

“I had just gotten a notification from my bank saying I was overdrawn,” Sheffield said. “Plus, I hadn’t slept in like 21 hours, I think I failed my biology midterm and I was in that weird stage of early, day-drunk hangover where you feel stomach-drunk-sick and headache-anger-sick at the same time. But then I saw this crowd of high school kids running around and I thought, ‘it could be worse, I could be those chumps.’ ”

-Chophouse Sweater Burger