Student Elite Form Selective GroupMe Student Elite Form Selective GroupMe
On a campus with 50,000 undergraduate students, it can be difficult to know exactly where students fit in. Many student leaders understand that they... Student Elite Form Selective GroupMe

On a campus with 50,000 undergraduate students, it can be difficult to know exactly where students fit in. Many student leaders understand that they are better than the other students on campus, but it can be hard to distinguish the leaders from the uninvolved and unimportant. An important student’s reputation can be severely damaged by engaging with any regular old student that has no power, and that is a risk that A&M’s elite are simply unwilling to take. It has recently been brought to our attention that the class of 2016 has formed a GroupMe by the name of “SKA ‘16”, or “Seniors Kick A**”, in order for top seniors to recognize which other seniors are worthy of interacting with.

The GroupMe has more than 150 members, all of whom seem to be connected through some kind of invisible commonality.  They use this GroupMe to share information, send “SKA” selfies, sell sports passes, plan hangouts that never happen, and compile SKA Songs of the Week. These extremely important conversations can only be had among the most elite students at Texas A&M, and if the wrong person gets their hands on SKA Songs of the Week, this invisible hierarchy of students will crumble.

Removal

SKA ‘16 members monitor the integrity of the group by adding and removing approximately 20 students per day.

 

After extensive research, we have a breakdown of the top campus organizations represented in SKA ‘16. It seems that the majority of Chi O, Fish Aides, and Abbott has been added to this GroupMe, and any member of those organizations that is not in SKA ‘16 should find out what they did to lose the respect of their peers. If any student is not involved in any organizations on campus but would like to be considered as part of this group, don’t worry! One summer spent at Pine Cove, Sky Ranch, or even T Bar M will increase your chances significantly.

Not Faides

Probably not.

 

SKA Involvement Breakdown:

  • Christian Camp Counselors: 45
  • Big Event: 34
  • Chi Omega: 32
  • Young Life: 31
  • Abbott Family Leadership Conference: 29
  • Fish Aides: 28
  • BCA: 18
  • AMC: 16
  • MSC FISH: 15
  • Gilbert Leadership Conference: 11

 

Student “taken care of” after adding someone from FLARE to the GroupMe

Student “taken care of” after adding someone from FLARE to the GroupMe

 

With the class of 2016 MVPs all contained in one massive GroupMe, it is easier to identify the groups that make up the A&M bubble. SKA ‘16 serves to connect those who are not actually connected by anything, and bring them together in one exclusive group to send memes and gossip about campus.

 

-Gigsaw Puzzle

 

mm

Gigsaw Puzzle

Do you remember that old lady across the street? The one who you were pretty sure was a witch, but she was really good at hiding it? Not that you cared, of course. She always gave you those Werther's Original® candies, and you’d be okay with anyone who gave you candy, regardless of their evil, supernatural powers. That woman is Gigsaw Puzzle. Did we mention that she can assemble a 1000 piece puzzle in under 45 minutes? Yeah, that’s pretty fast, according to Guinness. Like we said: witchcraft. There’s an excellent pun here about an author witch and her spelling, but the intern has been on a wordplay ban following last month’s incident.

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