Hot Beefcake Loses His Mojo Hot Beefcake Loses His Mojo
With another year comes another chance at love; another opportunity to put your pull game to the test. For a certain Brandon Huff, however,... Hot Beefcake Loses His Mojo

With another year comes another chance at love; another opportunity to put your pull game to the test. For a certain Brandon Huff, however, lady luck has taken a sudden turn for the worse.

“Yeah, I don’t know what it is….back in H-town I had mad game. I was scoring hard 10s every other night,” Huff said. “I was drowning – but, but now…this is a drought of the likes of which I’ve never seen”

Exactly how and when Huff lost his mojo is unclear, but signs of trouble began appearing as early as last week. “I knew something was off when I stopped wearing tanks and objectifying women, but I remained hopeful – perhaps naively so.”

Even a solid post-workout pump, once a staple of Huff’s routine, has done nothing to further his chances with the opposite sex, and has wholly crushed his ego.

“I’m ashamed to admit this, but in class the other day, I asked for a girl’s number so we could study together. And I actually meant it,” said Huff.

With his lackluster love life, Huff has turned his attention to his Sports Management degree and is now realizing that this, too, has very little chance of success. All in all, things are not going so well for the former hottie whose spiral into depression has caused him to gain some unwanted pounds. He is on the verge of losing his regulation beefcake status, being demoted to just a lowly stud muffin.

Huff was last seen moping around campus in Charlie Brown fashion – just a shadow of the man he once was. Have you seen his mojo?

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Plug Down for Watt

Plug Down for Watt failed the Turing Test. I guess that means she’s a robot or a computer or something? I mean, it would explain a few things, like her perfect spelling and math skills, but she has a heart that no computer could ever have. Plug’s too funny to be a computer anyways! So maybe she’s a cyborg. A cyborg who’s on our side.

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