Letter to the Editor: Where are the Gay People At?

Dear Editor,

Hey, Mugdown. I was just wondering… where are all the gay people at? I mean, not that I’m gay or anything. I’m not interested in guys or anything, but I would like to know how to connect with one. I keep going to Halo, but I can’t even find any gay people there!

And I know what you all are thinking: “Oh, this guy wants a boyfriend,” but you have me all wrong. I’m just concerned that maybe other people might want one, you know? There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with seeing a total hunk and going, “Man, wouldn’t that be hot if he took off his shirt.”  I mean, if he’s got a six pack, he should share that- I wouldn’t mind.

I mean, think about it. We’ve never had a gay pride parade, and I think some people would really like to see a bunch of strong, sweaty men struttin’ down University. I wouldn’t mind. Nothing bothers me when I watch videos of oily men wrestling each other, or when I see a cute guy in lab and think, “Man, I wish he was my partner.” Or like Top Gun? How disappointing is it when you go to the volleyball court and there are only girls. No shirtless guys? What about the Corps? Don’t they have a shirtless volleyball league or something like that? It just makes me so upset, for anyone who’s gay, that is.

Also, I think campus would really benefit from some diversity. I used to know some racist kids in middle school, I wasn’t one of them, but I mean I laughed at their jokes sometimes. But once I came to A&M and met my black friend, I didn’t find that stuff funny anymore, and that’s my point! Maybe if we had some more gay friends, we would get along better with them.

Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. I have to get back to my wrestling videos now.

Thanks and giggles,

Normal straight guy ‘18