Stoner at Z Islander Thinks He is Actually at The Beach Stoner at Z Islander Thinks He is Actually at The Beach
Sophomore Andrew Johnson has not been seen wearing a shirt since last February, according to his neighbors at Z Islander. What was thought to... Stoner at Z Islander Thinks He is Actually at The Beach

Sophomore Andrew Johnson has not been seen wearing a shirt since last February, according to his neighbors at Z Islander. What was thought to be a premature hype for spring break, then a quest for an early summer tan, and stretched into an over-excitement about the warm summer weather, has now turned into full-blown suspicion that Johnson actually believes he lives at the beach.

“He carries a boogie board out to the pool almost every day, shakes his head and mutters under his breath about waiting for ‘a sweet swell one of these days’,” Z Islander staff told The Mugdown.

Johnson mostly takes online classes, except for a sand volleyball KINE 199, which he gets to on his longboard two days a week. He spends most of his time tanning on the volleyball court, actually playing volleyball, and getting high  hanging out in his pastel pink and blue apartment.

“He’s kind of a weird dude, but I like him. The first time he asked if I wanted to ‘hit the surf’ with him, I was kind of disappointed that he meant the Z Islander pool, but he shared an actual coconut with me which was pretty cool,” said Johnson’s weed dealer, who asked to remain unnamed.

The Mugdown recently caught up with Johnson over some fuzzy navels poolside. When asked how Johnson has adjusted to life in College Station over the last two years since moving from his home in Houston, Johnson seemed overcome with emotion. “Moving here has completely changed me. I finally found my place in the world, and I couldn’t be happier. The sun, the sand, the crystal clear waters, the quirky sideways windows, the palm trees. Before moving to College Station, I had never even been to a beach, and now I never want to leave.”

 

Panda Expressions

 

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Panda Expressions

Panda Expressions is that one overly artistic girl that never lets you forget that time she took a summer class for art history in Paris after her sophomore summer in high school. Though she is admittedly spoiled by daddy, Panda Expressions has rejected her posh life with all its upperclass advantages and now only shops at thrift stores with ironic or artistic names like "Blue Trash" or "The Rugged Ruby". Her mom says it is just a phase, but Panda Expressions may or may not have a Mega Panda tattoo on her rib cage that proves otherwise.

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