The Mugdown Lowdown: How to A&M, A Guide for Our New President The Mugdown Lowdown: How to A&M, A Guide for Our New President
Dr. Young, We first wanted to congratulate you on officially putting on the A&M hat and signing as this University’s next President. We at... The Mugdown Lowdown: How to A&M, A Guide for Our New President

Dr. Young,

We first wanted to congratulate you on officially putting on the A&M hat and signing as this University’s next President. We at The Mugdown understand that you are new to Aggieland and decided to dedicate this Mugdown Low-Down (MDLD) to help you—and other new faculty and staff—understand Texas A&M.

  1. The Mugdown. Might as well start with the best. We are the premiere news source on campus and we exist to serve the student body by consistently delivering unbiased and completely true news. Be wary when reading The Battalion—or worse, The Good Bull—they make up quotes and don’t use Oxford commas. Trust us, not them.
  2. Social Media. You might have heard about a previous University President who was very active on Twitter. That was cool and all but Twitter is on the decline recently and as far as the medium goes, your predecessor set some high expectations. This paper recommends exploring other social media outlets to best connect with the student body. Snapchat should be a priority—who doesn’t love a good President selfie? Yik Yak can also prove to be a vital way to connect with the student body, albeit with the possibility of you just speaking with a small conjunction of Cadets and bored freshmen.
  3. Logan’s. Not Logies. It’s that simple Mike; don’t call the best bar on Northgate Logie’s. That is step one on the enlistment to New Army.
  4. Eating On Campus. You Run This Campus. We implore you to try dining options other than University Club; here are our favorites:
    1. The Grill at The Pavilion: Snuggled in between the Annex, Evans, and Liberal Arts, this little known burger joint is home to the greatest burger on campus, The King Kong. Don’t even look at the menu. Walk in and ask for a King Kong or, if you like guacamole, a Queen Kong. Make sure to say hi to the best on-campus dining employee, Mirna, and wait patiently in line until that joyful moment when your number is called.
    2. Bright Complex: R. C. Slocum Nutrition Center: Just south of Kyle Field (that is where we play football) and west of the President’s house Sharp’s Kennel For Big Money Donors, this might be the best kept secret on campus. Built strictly for athletes, this facility is unsurprisingly the nicest dining location at A&M. However, lunch is open for everyone, and we hear that after a couple meals there, you can just simply join the Aggie Football Defense.
    3. 12th Man Cafeteria (specifically Cabo): Located in the cafeteria in the MSC, Cabo is home to the best tacos on campus. Cabo is wedged between the pizza line and Indian food place, typically with no line because nobody thinks to visit it. Ask for the two taco plate and from then on out, it’s your basic Chipotle style build-a-taco. Yes, guacamole will be extra.
  5. How to buy an Aggie Ring. Let’s be honest here—this student body will not fully accept you until you assimilate completely. This includes purchasing an Aggie Ring. We recommend looking into graduate programs on campus or an online program. Qualifications can be found here.
  6. Fuego. Fuego is your new home for late-night tacos. On the corner of Texas and University, Fuego is open 24/7 making it everybody’s meet up spot after a successful Saturday night of studying. We recommend getting a Juan Pablo, Fuego Steak, and a pint of queso. Also, Fuego is home to a secret menu, and it’s incredible.
  7. Boots, Y’all, and Howdy. We are highly aware of the resistance from out-of-staters to these three notoriously “Texan” things. Often, those not blessed enough to be born within state lines feel the need to “express their individuality” when it comes to the idea of assimilation into the Texas culture. If you attempt to bring with you some of your own state’s character, we commend you. However, we also feel that we must warn you. You will be beaten. It is useless to resist. Give into the struggle cuddle that is Texan pride. Buy those boots. Shorten your sentences. Say Howdy, dammit.
  8. Chilifest. Now also known as the Rock-Paper-Scissors-Free Zone, Chilifest is the best place to take that wife of yours for a special treatment at the mud spa. And you’ll be supporting philanthropies while you do it! This hedonistic hail to country music and drunken debauchery is the most highly anticipated event of the year by students and Snook police alike. Start designing your build and perfecting your chili recipe now. Do Mormons believe in Noah’s Ark? If so, we already designed a sweet build for you here.
  9. Don’t touch the bats. College Station is apparently home to massive colonies of bats that have been known to infiltrate Evans, Kyle Field, West Campus Garage, and the Rec center. In the case you miss the dozens of signs around campus or the occasional warning email, you are reading it now: DON’T TOUCH THE BATS. This also goes for the Battalion: DON’T TOUCH THE BATTS.
  10. It is now acceptable to walk over all seals. Not that this really would have affected you anyway (except maybe #5), but there used to be a long-standing belief that if you walked across the hallowed seal of Texas A&M University, you would be doomed to never graduate. Students used to go out of their way to avoid seals in Koldus, the Governor Rick Perry ‘72 Building Academic Building, and on Military Walk. It was kind of a pain, but it was tradition. Well now, we wish to inform you that your trips across campus will be pain-free as all University seals have been made irrelevant by the actions of your new best friends and bosses, The Ever-Living, Ever-Loving Board of Regents. Be sure to thank them for removing one more obstacle to your success here at Texas A&M.

We hope this has been helpful to you, President Mike, and can ease your transition into college life and the Aggie family. We wish you the best of luck as you begin to lead Texas A&M University, and we hope to see you at Logan’s, The Grill, and/or Fuego soon.

Thanks and Gig ‘em,

Lonely Lighter and Sbisa Cookie

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Lonely Lighter

With that name, she was destined to join The Mugdown. Famous for wandering around Kyle Field alone during Midnight Yell, her name speaks for itself. Take a moment and picture the girl that comes to mind when you hear the name “Lonely Lighter”– whatever you’re picturing, that’s her. L2 (as she is known around HQ) enjoys long walks on the beach, chasing boots, and riding the elevator in Koldus.

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