Monday, December 23, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Corps Scout Cookies Coming this Spring


Texas A&M students will be receiving a tasty surprise this Spring as the Corps of Cadets has recently unveiled its newest fundraiser: Corps Scout Cookies™. Inspired by the Girl Scouts of America, who began their cookie cartel in 1917, the Corps of Cadets hope that their product will not only generate revenue, but bring joy and delicious memories to Texas A&M’s campus.

The idea originated when Josh Turner, a senior petroleum engineering major and member of the Corps, noticed a Girl Scout peddling her wares on campus.

“After doing some research, I was amazed to find out how much money they make on those cookies,” Turner said. “If they can do it, so can we.”

Turner took his idea to Col. Glenn Starnes, Assistant Commandant for Operations & Training, who immediately recognized the potential.

“This business model is an ideal fit for the Corps of Cadets, as there are actually quite a few similarities between us and the Girl Scouts of America,” Starnes said. “We both wear uniforms, learn valuable life skills, and are generally seen as children by society as a whole.”

Corps Scout Cookies™ are expected to make their debut sometime this March, and will be sold at tables around campus, as well as by freshman Corps members who will be going door to door in the various dorms. As of now, three flavors have been announced: “Piss Heads”, “Whip Outs”, and “Corps Turds”.

Additionally, the Corps of Cadets have issued a statement regarding how the revenue from this fundraiser will be allocated. Profits will go to: Five for Yell, the Reveille IX Selection Committee, new equipment for the Fighting Texas Aggie Band, and (as designated by TAMU Student Senate) the GLBT Resource Center.

“We believe that Corps Scout Cookies™ will soon be another sacred tradition here at Texas A&M,” Starnes said during the fundraiser’s announcement. “It’s never been sweeter to be an Aggie.”

-Riffety Raff