Yell Leaders Tormented by the Spirit of Aggieland

“There is a Spirit that can ne’er be told”

A popular lyric that can be found on t-shirts and Twitter bios, these words stem from the second verse of Texas A&M’s alma mater, The Spirit of Aggieland. The song boasts of a prowess bold and a school that is so grand–it’s the Spirit of Aggieland.

This Spirit can take many forms–the 12th Man on Kyle Field, saying ‘Here’ at Muster, and a ring made of gold. But yesterday, the Aggie Spirit took a new form.

Some may say that it was a coincidence that Zach Lawrence was nearly hit by an Aggie Spirit bus. This newspaper does not think so. Kyle Cook was the target, not Zach Lawrence. And the bus driver found himself at the mercy of a merciless force–the Spirit of Aggieland.

The Spirit of Aggieland is benevolent to the Keepers of its Tradition, but malevolent to those who break it. When Cook released pictures of himself posing at the Bonfire Memorial years ago, he enraged a force more ancient and sinister than he could imagine.

This is not the first time the Spirit has risen from the depths. The Spirit has existed since Texas A&M’s inception, steadily growing in strength over the last century and a half. Its presence has become a nearly daily force on campus.

Two years ago, campus’ pet cat Bisbee began taking too much attention from the Spirit’s beloved mascot, Reveille, and the feral cat was replaced the following semester. The Spirit had intervened. Shortly after, the Spirit’s favorite dessert, Sbisa cookies, were pulled from the menu, and two lunch-ladies have been declared missing ever since. The Spirit would not go hungry. As the Spirit grew, it needed a temple for its people to worship it. Incoming University President Michael Young may be homeless, but all are welcome in the Home of the Spirit of Aggieland.

When the Spirit learned that the very man who defiled the Bonfire Memorial was now campaigning to represent Her campus to lead yells in Her honor, it was time to enact Her revenge.

However, it became a classic case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time; even the Spirit can mistake one cadet from another. The time was 9:58 a.m. on a bright and clear Monday morning. Lawrence was on his bike–midway across the Trigon–when a bus almost hit him from the side.

Infamously known for their less-than superior driving abilities, a bus driver was the perfect medium for the Spirit’s revenge. Even a being as great as Herself cannot overlook the irony of using one such driver on Route 01, otherwise known as “Bonfire Memorial”. Couple that with a Spirit Bus named after Herself and it was an opportunity She could not pass up. Charlie Henderson, the driver of the bus that hit Lawrence, commented on the incident.

“I don’t know what happened. Some thing took hold of the pedal. I was busy trying to convince people to take off their backpacks and form two rows,” said Henderson.

The Spirit intervened. Her Greatness made a mistake, an anomaly for the likes of Her kind. She noticed a senior yell candidate, an idle bus, and seized the opportunity for Her revenge. While Her plan was foiled this time, Cook remains in a precarious and dangerous position. Yes, She will strike again. After all–She has to fight for Maroon and White.

-Sbisa Cookie