Sorority Test Bank Leaked, Comm Department Reeling

Texas A&M’s Department of Communication was rocked yesterday when the test bank held in the Delta Gamma sorority house was leaked to the public.

Delta Gamma has proudly acknowledged the existence of this test bank for many years, lauding it as a definite mark in DG’s favor during the tense decision time that is Sorority Recruitment.

The bank, which contained tests and papers for nearly every Comm class on A&M’s campus, was apparently loaned out by a new addition to the Delta Gamma family. Freshman Communication major Sara Hearths volunteered to share a select number of the tests with her first ever study group, but before she knew it, almost all of the tests had been copied.

“I didn’t expect them to take advantage of me so quickly,” Hearths said, tears filling her eyes as she remembered the situation.

Some of Hearths’ sisters witnessed the event, drawn by the noise of students greedily yelling out test questions and snatching the exams from each other. They compared the other students’ incredibly vicious attempts to get all of the answers for their college careers to a feeding frenzy filled with curiously blonde and perfumed sharks or a stampede of oversized t-shirt wearing wildebeest. Fights involving hair pulling broke out over the exams for Comm 357, which many of the students had heard was particularly challenging.

Alyssa Gooding, a Communications graduate student who works closely with professors in the Comm department, was disgusted by the leak.

“Aggies shouldn’t do this. It’s just not right,” Gooding said, eloquently expressing her distaste with the skills she learned through her communications degree.

“But what I find most despicable is the lack of respect for tradition. Some of these tests have been used for decades. If that’s not proof of the strength of Aggie traditions, I don’t know what is,” Gooding said.

Gooding explained that she feels bad for the professors who will now have to rewrite their exams, some for the first time since the university allowed women to become students in the early 1970s.

None of the Comm professors were available for comment, as they were busy reading the books from which they already teach.

-Revelicious