Rock the Vote: Mugdown’s Guide to Fall Elections
With the year’s most anticipated election upon us, we take to social media to learn more about this years candidates. Where, besides Twitter, can one find valuable and objective information concerning a candidate’s viewpoints? Unless someone made a website for their Freshman Class President campaign, you probably can’t find it anywhere. That’s why the Mugdown is here to help. It’s time to Rock the Vote!
Campus may be rid of campaign banners, but social media is never safe.
The beauty of the fall election is that it doesn’t matter.
Scratch that. Actually, if you are a freshman or one of the dozens of people who weren’t elected in the spring, it may matter to you. I’m not saying that this election isn’t a big deal, voting is important. Mark my words, The Mugdown loves democracy. We just love the petty and over-the-top campaigning part of democracy the most.
With that, it’s time for some Freshman Class President Election campaign analysis courtesy of our friends over at #TAMU18.
Yes. Freshman Class President.
Be an informed voter. Go to bres4pres.com for more pics of flaming footballs.
Wait a second. SOMEONE ACTUALLY MADE A WEBSITE??
Just because you don’t have a website, doesn’t mean you don’t care. Take Donya for instance. Before you vote on Thursday, he wants you to, and I quote, “TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOUR PETS EVEN FAMILY LETS GET A BLACK GUY IN OFFICE IM NOT OBAMA THO!”
Now that is a promising candidate. Let’s go to Twitter and see what else he has to say.
RT to help Donya get punctuation.
Someone needs to remind these candidates that this is not a student body president election. What’s that? About half of these people are probably going to run for SBP in three years? Nevermind. Our next two candidates are using social media to push election facts.
Putting money on this picture being recycled for his SBP campaign
I think he meant holla, but who knows? Holl could be some confusing new word, like Trill.
We saved the best for last. Actually, we legally cannot say that. Donya paid us good money to endorse him and this would be breaking our contract.
That last part isn’t true.
What is true is that it looks like the Corps may not make an endorsement this year, because two Fish Cadets are running. Also, who the hell gets endorsements when they are running for FRESHMAN CLASS PRESIDENT? But if I was a gambling man, I’d say O’Rourke probably has the advantage. Check out this tweet. He’s a servant, y’all.
Poor fish doesn’t know that we elect power hungry and insincere people every year . . . They’re called senators.
You may be wondering why we didn’t cover senate elections. If you are, you’re probably campaigning for student senate yourself and just wanted the publicity. Don’t get your panties in a wad though. Even if you are elected, statistics show that you are probably going to drop out before your term anyway.
There’s a special club for people that last a full term. It meets at O’Bannons and it’s run by Cary Cheshire.
Sorry for the rant. I’m a bit jaded. Now that you are an informed voter, the choice is yours. There is a pointless election today and a bunch of freshmen that want your vote are waiting.
Be a good Ag and go to vote.tamu.edu today and tomorrow. Election results should be announced Friday evening after all 200 votes have been counted.
-Cactus Jack
Like Bellamy, we knew immediately that we wanted Cactus Jack on our team. It probably has to do with the fact that when we first met him, he was trying to figure out what it would feel like to lick a cactus. He’s sort of like the abandoned dog you come across on the side of the highway. He may be ugly, but we pulled over to watch and now we feel at least partially responsible for him.