The Mugdown Sells Out
Dear Mugdown,
You suck. How could you sell out to the man? You used to be cool, but you changed. You became an official student organization of Texas A&M. I would wonder why you don’t just ask to become the University’s personal lapdog, but I guess the Batt’s been trying to take Reveille’s place for years.
Sincerely,
Richard
We received this email early this morning and felt it was an issue we should kindly address for all our readers.
Hey Dick,
I see your point, but you don’t know the full story here. We sold out, but we sold out for a great price. We didn’t become Texas A&M’s 1025th official student organization for chump change.
Here, check this out. As a student organization, we’re free to use the official A&M logo.
No legal repercussions. That’s pretty nice.
It also makes us an official and legitimate representation of the University. Yeah. Us. Officially representing A&M. Let that wash over you for a second.
We’ve also got ourselves a sweet advisor now. Our advisor is pretty much the Obi-Wan to our Luke, the Dumbledore to our Harry, the Splinter to our Ninja Turtle.
What else do we get? Funding.
Sweet, sweet, funding. Maybe. I dunno. We’ll see. The SOFC says the money starts flowing once we’re considered “obedient” and when we “dance, monkey, dance”, whatever that means. Those people are weird.
And so we boldly go where no A&M newspaper has gone before. No seriously, The Good Bull and The Battalion aren’t recognized student organizations. So as far as we’re concerned, we’re a more legitimate A&M news source than either of them.
In conclusion, did we sell out? Yes. Yes, we did.
<3 Honey Bear and The Mugdown Staff
Is the name ironic? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, he’s been called that for longer than anyone has known him. He’s a sociopath and we don’t like talking with him very much. So when the man says he’s called Honey Bear, we make damn sure to call him Honey Bear. He gets his articles turned in on time though, so we keep him around.