Game Time Prayer Angers Zeus. Weather Happens.

Only moments after Kyle Kelly finished his prayer to the Hebrew God before the first football game against Lamar, another god stirred. In spectacular wrath, Zeus began to throw down lightning bolts to punish the bigotry of the Aggies. For hours, Zeus threw bolt after bolt, declaring that the God of Moses was not alone.

When he finally grew weary of the practice, Zeus allowed the game to go on, tossing a bolt here and there when the NCAA officials blinked. The game went on with a convincing win for the Aggies, perhaps thanks to the prayer that Kelly sent up at the outset.

The following week, the God of Abraham, knowing that he was showed up in front of Lamar, took a preemptive move to show the Aggies that he was still relevant. He sent a flood from the heavens. The rain didn’t make much of an impact on the good students of Aggieland, and the game against Rice came as scheduled.

Again Kelly prayed, this time calling the God of Jacob with echoing force to bless the game and the injured. As the stadium amplified the prayer another god awoke. With the monotheistic blasphemy still ringing in his ears, Poseidon’s rage took shape. With the field still saturated from the other God’s rain, Poseidon dug in. After every play he shook the ground. Patches of grass erupted from the field and flew across the earth. Holes appeared in place of solid ground. With calculated precision, Poseidon toyed with the grounds crew for four quarters.

The raging gods wreaked havoc on the Aggies and their win over the Owls came by a slim margin. However, the unrest above did not end with the final whistle. The battle continues. After a rescheduled venue for Breakaway on Tuesday, the balance of power shifted again.

Wednesday afternoon, students emerged from class to find Apollo fanning the blaze of the sun while the God of Joseph forced rain to fall once more. The contradicting weather caused many students to seek shelter, while others were paralyzed by fear. Through it all, the chaos above was evident.

Around 5:00 the gods finally reached a peace agreement, and the God of Noah sent a beautiful sky-spanning rainbow to promise the students that the strife was over. Not to be outdone, Iris sent a second rainbow just a bit higher than the first.

-Commons Lobbyist