CHICK-FIL-NO-WAY, Student Swears off Chicken Sandwiches Forever
Of the many dining options on Texas A&M University’s campus, there is one that stands tasty and strong six days of the week, 313 days a year. The Commons and Underground dining areas on campus are both home to beloved mini Chick-Fil-A Express restaurants.
They serve the basics—chicken sandwiches, tenders, nuggets, and those waffle fries that will make you forget that other types of waffles even exist.
However, one freshman resident of the Commons dorm Krueger Hall claims that he is swearing off chicken sandwiches for life because of his frequent consumption of the supposed delicacy.
“All my upperclassman friends told me that I would get tired of those sandwiches, and I never believed them,” business major Cole Heifer said. “But it happened. Now I can’t even smell them without wanting to gag.”
With the end of the semester fast approaching, it is not surprising that the campus food is getting a bit overdone on the pallets of students.
“I’ve eaten at the Commons Chick-Fil-A every day over the last semester,” Alexis Fredrickson, freshman international studies major, said. “I’m not even sad when it’s closed on Sundays anymore.”
Because of the convenience, the Commons food court is heavily visited by its residents. While there are four options, Chick-Fil-A is normally tried and true. But the flavor of the chicken is constant and unexciting, boring students to chicken sandwich death.
One RA from Aston Hall gave some insight on how to keep the chicken fresh and delicious.
“You just gotta get creative with the sauces,” junior math major Jacob Arnold said. “Combining the ranch and Chick-Fil-A sauce gives everything whole new life!”
He also made the comment that he has been a resident of the Commons since his freshman year and has learned the secrets of sauce mixology.
As the last week of the semester passes, many students will fail to cope with their campus food woes. Before barring the franchise forever when dealing with the Commons’ Chick-Faux-Lame sandwiches, remember to not hate the chicken-loving player, hate the Commons’ limited food options game.
-Lone Star Lady
Can you take a guess where she’s from? Go ahead. Take a guess. If you guessed Pakistan, you’re an idiot. She’s from Somalia (We would like to apologize for that joke. It requires a working knowledge of both state and international flags). It was hard not to be interested when we got an application from a pirate. However, we soon realized she doesn’t have a hook, a pegleg, an eyepatch, or even a parrot. Turns out all she has is a large gun, a tiny fishing boat, and an alcohol problem. I suppose that last one’s sort of pirate-y. And hey, how many pirates do you work with?