Potluck Roommate Finds More Pot Than Luck Potluck Roommate Finds More Pot Than Luck
The largest campus police action on record was carried out early Friday morning in a joint effort of College Station Police Department and TAMU... Potluck Roommate Finds More Pot Than Luck

The largest campus police action on record was carried out early Friday morning in a joint effort of College Station Police Department and TAMU Campus police outside of Schumacher Hall. Fergus Jane, a freshman horticulture major from Boulder, Colorado, is being held on various drug charges.

The call to authorities was made by Jason Goodwin when he returned to his dorm early that morning. After a long night of dancing at Hurricane Harry’s, lighting up the town as many students do on Thursday nights, Goodwin returned to his dorm to find smoke billowing out from under his door.

“I tried to open it to see if my roommate was still in there, but the door was either locked or blocked or something,” said Goodwin. “I banged on the door to see if he was in there, but heard nothing. I don’t really know the guy that well, but I still didn’t want him to fry in there.”

Goodwin called the fire department at 4:07, and College Station Fire Department rolled up at 4:20 AM to put out the blaze. Firemen found Jane laying on his bed, who greeted the responders with a faint and drawn out “dude”.

“We were really confused at first,” a representative from College Station Fire Department bluntly said. “But it didn’t take long before we grazed the room and weeded out the possibilities. There was something dubious going on.”

Police were called, and after they finished casing the joint, they found several duffel bags packed with drug paraphernalia and plastic bags filled with cannabis. Though the details are hazy, it is apparent that a faulty appliance baked one of the bags in question, which set the whole stash ablaze.

“It’s a miracle that he didn’t die, frankly,” CSPD Officer Marley said. “And it’s a good thing his roommate came back when he did. It’s high time that somebody caught the kid before he caused any real damage to himself.”

Jane’s parents have been alerted to their son’s legal trouble and are set to fly down to College Station. The Mugdown attempted to contact them for details, but Mary, his mother, refused to comment on their behalf.

-Beutel Call

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Beutel Call

After we watched him bounce out of the bed of an old F-150 on his way to the Beutel Health Center because he sliced his leg fighting a dinosaur fossil, he professed his life story to us, speaking highly of his many exploits rescuing road kill. We soon learned Beutel has a large poster with his face on every bulletin board labeled “DO NOT ADMIT. WILL POCKET TONGUE DEPRESSORS AND STICK BAND-AIDS TO WAITING ROOM CEILING.”

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