Confused Ol’ Ag Breaks Into Kyle Field for Midnight Yell
With the Texas A&M spring Parents’ Weekend coming this weekend, the university wishes to give Aggie parents the best experience possible. A trademark tradition in Aggieland is the beloved Midnight Yell Practice, a surprisingly popular event amongst older generations who have not seen midnight in decades.
Traditionally, Yell Leaders spur the 12th Man into the BTHO spirit at Kyle Field. However, unfortunately for tradition, Kyle Field is currently out of play.
Texas A&M’s football stadium has been deep into a multi-year construction project since November of 2013. The field itself is currently a large patch of dirt, and the stands on the East side, the student side used for Yell, are in a state of ruin. Practice would be impossible without a spot for two percenters to sit.
However, one Old Army Ag is convinced that no tradition shall be broken due to something as silly as a minor construction project.
“Kyle Field has not always been a place known for football prowess, but it has always been known as the place for Yell!” Lt. Col. Eugene Rivers said. “Why are they moving it to the Liberal Arts complex? What do they take us for, a bunch of hippies?”
Eugene Rivers is a member of the fightin’ Texas Aggie Class of 1960 and has come in town early. His granddaughter, Claire Rivers, is a member of the class of 2014 and allegedly invited him down to join in the festivities. He came a few days early to “beat the traffic”.
Claire Rivers declined to comment on her redass grandfather.
Eugene Rivers attempted to sneak into Kyle Field by sporting a hard hat and neon vest on Wednesday night at around 11 and was quickly caught by authorities.
“The perpetrator clearly had no idea what was going on when he entered the work site,” campus officer Charles Masters said. “But he put up quite a fight when approached.”
Eugene Rivers, a hardened military man, gave two workers black eyes and another a broken nose before Masters was called over to remove Reaves from the scene.
“Yeah, man.” Marcus Frey told the Mugdown. “He just started swinging at us when we told him to leave. Then when the cop pulled him away, he started singing that fight song. Sawin’ varsity’s horns off and stuff.”
Eugene Rivers, however, does not regret his actions.
“I was just trying to see if everyone was going to fit for Yell,” Eugene Rivers said. “It was just a recon mission. But all you New Army people want us to change everything. I will not have it!”
He added that his favorite yell was Farmer’s Fight.
-Lone Star Lady
Can you take a guess where she’s from? Go ahead. Take a guess. If you guessed Pakistan, you’re an idiot. She’s from Somalia (We would like to apologize for that joke. It requires a working knowledge of both state and international flags). It was hard not to be interested when we got an application from a pirate. However, we soon realized she doesn’t have a hook, a pegleg, an eyepatch, or even a parrot. Turns out all she has is a large gun, a tiny fishing boat, and an alcohol problem. I suppose that last one’s sort of pirate-y. And hey, how many pirates do you work with?