Monday, December 23, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


A&M FINISHES SEASON ON FOUR GAME MORAL VICTORY STREAK


With the SEC Tournament under wraps, the Texas A&M Men’s Basketball team has to be feeling pretty good about their season. The Aggies finished the year with a four game moral victory streak, despite only winning one of those games.

Critics may point out the fact that a moral victory does not actually count as a win in the record book. However, for an Aggie team rocked by player dismissals and general mediocrity, even the moral victories count. When the most exciting thing that has happened this season is an awkward looking white guy dunking and making it on SportsCenter, these little wins make a difference.

The Aggies beat the Ole Miss Rebels 71-60 to start their streak. Their following two games were equally as impressive, losing by only a combined six points. Say what you will about the games, but don’t call them losses.

When asked about the games against Missouri and Auburn, Coach Billy Kennedy said “Six Points — Really? It honestly felt like we were losing by way more than that there at the end of those games. Man … six points? Those boys should be proud.”

A&M played Missouri again in the second round of the SEC tournament on Thursday, March 13th. The Aggies gave it their best shot, but came up short in double overtime, 91-83.

However, as any college basketball fan can tell you: losing in overtime is basically the same thing as tying during regulation. It’s basically a win, if you think about it, right?

The awkward looking white guy, Alex Caruso, was shocked when Kennedy told the team about their end of season accomplishment.

“I was honestly a little disappointed with the way the season ended, but when Coach told me about our moral victory streak, I realized we actually had a ton of momentum going into our CBI game.” Caruso said.

It was announced this week that Indiana University turned down a chance to play in the CBI tournament, however the Aggies are not above that.

“Just think about it. Winning the CBI means we can add another championship to Reed Arena once we renovate it.” Kennedy said. “We did the same thing for Kyle Field. All that counts is that we are the champions of something.”

Win or Lose, the Aggies are bound to have fun and put on quite the show for their fan.

-Cactus Jack