Sul Ross Arrested in Austin, Faces Charges for Arson
AUSTIN, TX – The former governor of Texas and president of Texas AMC faces arson charges after police say he set a small shed on fire in Austin late last evening.
Lawrence Sullivan Ross is charged with first and second-degree arson, malicious burning, and reckless endangerment, according to Travis County District Court records.
Austin Police went to the scene, which had unfolded near the University of Texas campus, after a suspicious fire was reported around two in the morning.
Neighbors told police that late that night, while the t-sips were in bed, Ol’ Sul Ross put a lantern in the shed. The Aggie appeared to have knocked it over, though it is not clear whether this was intentional. The shed was quickly engulfed in a burnt orange inferno.
“It’ll be a hot time in Austin tonight!” said Ross. He proceeded to country western dance for the next ten minutes.
Onlookers described the scene as “a bit strange” and “red ass”. Though most agreed that the whole situation was unbefitting of a man as respected as Ross, who had served in nearly every major position in the state.
However to Aggies, Ross will always be remembered, not for engulfing Austin in flames, but for the ways he selflessly served Texas AMC.
Even if he does face life in prison.
-Cactus Jack
Like Bellamy, we knew immediately that we wanted Cactus Jack on our team. It probably has to do with the fact that when we first met him, he was trying to figure out what it would feel like to lick a cactus. He’s sort of like the abandoned dog you come across on the side of the highway. He may be ugly, but we pulled over to watch and now we feel at least partially responsible for him.