HAIRGATE: The Essential Guide on Whose Scalp Wore It Best HAIRGATE: The Essential Guide on Whose Scalp Wore It Best
From Washington’s powdered wig to Obama’s buzz cut, everyone knows that presidents have always been defined by their hair. A well groomed head is... HAIRGATE: The Essential Guide on Whose Scalp Wore It Best

From Washington’s powdered wig to Obama’s buzz cut, everyone knows that presidents have always been defined by their hair. A well groomed head is a recipe for political success, just ask John Edwards, the former senator from North Carolina who regularly spent 400 dollars on every haircut.

The same principle applies to student body presidents. Men like John Claybrook and Jeff Pickering are defined not by the style of their actions, but by the style of their hair. Here at The Mugdown, we have created a guide that breaks down past and present SBP candidates by their two most prominent qualities: how presidential and how seductive their hair is.

Hair Graph

-Cactus Jack and Honey Bear

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Honey Bear

Is the name ironic? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, he’s been called that for longer than anyone has known him. He’s a sociopath and we don’t like talking with him very much. So when the man says he’s called Honey Bear, we make damn sure to call him Honey Bear. He gets his articles turned in on time though, so we keep him around.

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