Brother Jed to Accept Philosophy of Religion Position at Blinn
Blinn students will be pleased to see a familiar face describing the merits and nature of religion next semester. This afternoon, the school announced the hiring of Jed Smock, known to many as Brother Jed, as the new Philosophy of Religion instructor.
According to the official Blinn course catalog, the class “surveys basic religious issues such as the existence and nature of God, religious and mystical experience, miracles, immorality, the problem of evil, the relationship between reason and faith, and the meaning of religious language and symbols.”
Brother Jed graduated from Indiana State University. After receiving his masters degree in history from ISU, he enjoyed a brief stint as a history professor at The University of Wisconsin- La Crosse, better known as the Harvard of Wisconsin.
It was not long before Brother Jed realized that teaching wasn’t his true passion. He dedicated himself to preaching to college campuses across America. The message he proclaims to students is one of love and tolerance.
“I guess I would consider myself a militant atheist, but that all changed when I met Brother Jed.” said sophomore biology major, Sam Hooding. “I always thought Christians were a bunch of close-minded bigots. Brother Jed radically changed my opinion of Christianity for the better.”
Blinn College is excited for the publicity that this hire will bring, as Brother Jed is a bit of a celebrity on Texas A&M’s campus.
“We believe this will be a great fit for both parties, since Brother Jed isn’t a real teacher and we aren’t a real university” said Cynthia Griffith, Vice President of Instruction.
When reached for comment, Brother Jed rambled for several minutes, but finally said something along the lines of “A masturbator today is a homosexual tomorrow and liberals will burn in Hell.”
-Cactus Jack
EDITOR’S NOTE: He also called me a slut.
Like Bellamy, we knew immediately that we wanted Cactus Jack on our team. It probably has to do with the fact that when we first met him, he was trying to figure out what it would feel like to lick a cactus. He’s sort of like the abandoned dog you come across on the side of the highway. He may be ugly, but we pulled over to watch and now we feel at least partially responsible for him.