Student Actually Reads Syllabus
- College Station, TX – In a twist of events that surprised even the professor himself, it appears that a student in his Introduction to Accounting class has read the syllabus. Despite requiring this mundane assignment every year, this is the first time on record that a student has in fact read it.
“Most people just stop as soon as they see how the teacher grades, but I’m not most people. I read every word of that sucker and let me tell you, it was enlightening.” said John Pecker, a freshman business major.
Syllabus day, as it is known, is a sort of holiday to many students. Everyone knows you basically just show up and try and figure out if you have any friends in the class. You certainly don’t do any work. That is the unspoken agreement between professors and students regarding the first day of a new class.
Since the syllabus is covered in class, students don’t typically read it — they just zone out when the professor goes over the important dates and grading policies.
Dr. Brody, a third year Intro to Accounting professor, admits, “Most years I just copy and paste whatever the school forces me to put in there; stuff like the Aggie honor code and general expectations. Sometimes, if I’m bored, I BS a schedule for the semester.”
“I mean why should I spend hours working on something that no one will ever read?” he wondered.
John doesn’t see it that way. According to him, “The syllabus is a way for me to truly grasp what I can learn from a class and commit to academic excellence.”
Other content in the syllabus includes contact information and office hours details.
“My favorite part was probably the Americans with Disabilities Act. I never knew that my professor was so accommodating.” Pecker said.
Dr. Brody was both impressed and a little confused by the fact that someone in the class would read the entirety of the syllabus. However, he was quickly brought back to reality when he asked for questions at the end of the class.
Mr. Pecker, sitting in the front row, raised his hand and, despite reading the entire syllabus, asked the professor if the final exam would be cumulative.
-Cactus Jack
Like Bellamy, we knew immediately that we wanted Cactus Jack on our team. It probably has to do with the fact that when we first met him, he was trying to figure out what it would feel like to lick a cactus. He’s sort of like the abandoned dog you come across on the side of the highway. He may be ugly, but we pulled over to watch and now we feel at least partially responsible for him.