Corps Member Thanked for His Service Corps Member Thanked for His Service
A new semester has begun at Texas A&M University, and with a new year comes an influx of visitors to the campus. Marla Campbell,... Corps Member Thanked for His Service

A new semester has begun at Texas A&M University, and with a new year comes an influx of visitors to the campus. Marla Campbell, the mother of a visiting high school senior, was overwhelmingly inspired by the University’s numerous men in uniform.

Corps Urinal

Chad Jordan—fish—was approached by Campbell near the Quad while walking to his morning class.

“I pray that my son will one day be brave and remember the way you stood up for our freedom. Thank you. Thank you for your service,” Campbell bubbled at Jordan.

Jordan blushed at the heartfelt praise but later mused on it’s misplacement, “it was really awkward.”

It was a difficult position for the cadet, but it is one that has been braved by many cadets throughout the University’s history. To accept the praise or to correct the visiting parent that they have, in fact, never served in any branch of the military.

“It’s been two semesters of this madness and the question still keeps me up at night,” a local pisshead confessed.

A&M’s very own commandant has implemented a 3-step plan over the last 5 years.

1. Educate yourself. Know the signs and know the risks. By wearing a uniform, you have made yourself a target. Education is the only way we stop this from spreading.

2. Reduce your risk of exposure. Avoid tour groups and avoid anyone that could match the following description: 30-50 years of age, thoughtlessly patriotic, and white.

3. Build up your support system. Sometimes it cannot be helped. Somedays it’s an unwinnable situation. In these instances, you will need your friends and even your family. The road to recovery is a rocky one, but your brothers and sisters of the corps will be there to put you back on your feet.

“We are the keepers of the Spirit of Aggieland, we are the corps cadets, and you’re welcome for our service,” nodded the commandant with a tear in his eye.

-Honey Bear

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Honey Bear

Is the name ironic? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, he’s been called that for longer than anyone has known him. He’s a sociopath and we don’t like talking with him very much. So when the man says he’s called Honey Bear, we make damn sure to call him Honey Bear. He gets his articles turned in on time though, so we keep him around.

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