Bootchasing Makes Way for Boot Investors Bootchasing Makes Way for Boot Investors
Boot investing, the act of buying stock in a freshman cadet early on so that one may reap the benefits of senior boots in... Bootchasing Makes Way for Boot Investors

Boot investing, the act of buying stock in a freshman cadet early on so that one may reap the benefits of senior boots in the future, has spread in popularity as a new practice for catching male cadets. For years, Bootchasers have roamed the Quad, desperately searching for a senior cadet with whom they could settle down; however, with this new method, many have found success in their investment ventures and have earned the ultimate return on investment: an engagement ring.

An alternative to the typical act of bootchasing, boot investing has proven to be a less risky expenditure as male freshmen cadets are much easier to tie down and manipulate than seniors. Recently-engaged senior and known boot investor Jessica Pedersen took the necessary steps in order to secure her future. As a freshman, Pedersen spent her first few weeks on campus with cadets, scanning the market for one worthy of acquisition.

“The real secret is offering them charity; fish just want to be taken care of,” said Pederson. “That’s how you close the deal. When I told him he could do his laundry at my apartment, I knew he was mine.” I’m also way classier than those Bootchasers. I’ve been here since the beginning, low quarters and all. Those tramps just sit in Quadbucks and objectify senior cadets on Instagram.”

Opinions regarding this new trend vary among cadets. Those in favor like the idea of their future spouse investing in their future and supporting them throughout all four years of college and the Corps. However, other cadets see boot investing as cunning and manipulative.

“It’s all a scam!” said Ian Richland, a junior cadet in Company E-2. “I’m so glad my girlfriend isn’t doing this, or else I wouldn’t be proposing to her next fall. We met at fish camp and have been dating ever since. She’s the furthest thing from a boot investor.”

Though the investment markets have been sluggish due to poor performance in the football sector and devaluation of first deck tickets, they are speculated to recover. With Corps outfits planning events for the upcoming holiday season, it is estimated the male cadet market will reach an all-time high, peaking at Holiday on the Quad before leveling out at start of the spring semester.

—Lil’ Event

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Lil' Event

Don’t underestimate her size! She will make sure her service project gets done before noon. Just don’t count on her showing up at Kyle Field when the bigger event starts. Sure her project is rescuing puppies from Puppy Station, but someone has got to do it! She may be the littlest member of the staff but she has the biggest heart. If she isn’t busy working on her next article or advocating for Reveille’s rights, than you will most likely find her taking a nap.

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