Professor’s Accent Forces Student to Skip Class and Not Study Professor’s Accent Forces Student to Skip Class and Not Study
This morning, Jim Lovett, an equestrian math major at Texas A&M, picked up a stack of Q-drop forms after receiving his first round of... Professor’s Accent Forces Student to Skip Class and Not Study

This morning, Jim Lovett, an equestrian math major at Texas A&M, picked up a stack of Q-drop forms after receiving his first round of exam grades. Lovett claimed that his professor’s “unintelligible” foreign accent was to blame for his subpar test scores. The Mugdown met up with Lovett last night for his comment.

“There was nothing I could do,” said Lovett, as he copied and pasted bits of a Wikipedia article into eCampus at 11:55pm. “When the professor started lecturing on the first day of class, it was clear that English wasn’t his first language. I never went back.”

Lovett claims that his professor’s inability to pronounce certain words prevented him from completing a single assignment all semester.  

“How am I supposed to learn this material if I can’t understand the person who’s supposed to teach it to me?” said Lovett as he pushed aside several unopened textbooks that were lying on his desk to make room for a bottle of vodka. “It was an uphill battle from the start.”

Reporters also met with Dr. Heamurla Jidmantura, an expert in his field and Jim Lovett’s math professor. After waiting for Jidmatura to finish helping several of his students with their homework, he was asked to comment on Lovett’s accusations.

“I have never seen this person before,” said Jidmantura, who promptly returned to helping his students.

Lovett was not completely unashamed, though. He admits that he might be partially responsible for his poor average in the class. “I should have switched sections the minute I heard his voice,” said Lovett. “Then maybe I would have learned something this semester.”

Lovett submitted his Q-drop forms and returned to his normal activity, vowing not to make the same mistakes for a fifth semester in a row.

 

—Teenage Music Gig ’Em Turtles

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Teenage Music Gig 'Em Turtles

Look, we're not saying that pets are bad, but no one needs THAT many animals, right? Like, turtles are great but so is floor space? He almost drowned as a kid when he fell into an open tank at the aquarium and thought that the turtles inside saved him. Then he made his own religion where he worships them with death metal ballads. We've tried interventions and normal interactions with other humans. Too bad he's convinced himself he only speaks turtle now, so he doesn't understand us.

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