Corps Secret Police Hunts for Resistance Leaders Corps Secret Police Hunts for Resistance Leaders
The Quad is in a state of alarm in response to the Commandant’s secret police tightening control on the Corps of Cadets on Tuesday evening.... Corps Secret Police Hunts for Resistance Leaders

The Quad is in a state of alarm in response to the Commandant’s secret police tightening control on the Corps of Cadets on Tuesday evening. All points of entry to the Quad have been sealed, leaving one remaining entry—complete with a checkpoint—at the arches for those trying to enter. Reveille is being used to sniff out the trails of those running the blockade.

Late yesterday afternoon, a scandal broke when an email was sent to all cadets within the Corps. The email contained links to a website and Facebook page, hoping to organize a resistance movement against the Commandant’s iron-fisted regime. The movement called for cadets to rise up in glorious revolutions and shrug off the khaki shackles of their commissars.

The email also leaked the official copy of the Commandant’s plan to consolidate the power of the Corps of Cadets from the forty-six outfit Commanders into the hands of his ten Major Unit Commissars. The news rapidly spread through TexAgs and social media, with The Resistance providing past and present cadets the first real opportunity to speak out about the Commandant’s purges of the Corps and its traditions.

The Commandant was outspoken in the matter after resistance leaders deployed assets to freeze the Commandant’s bank account. “We will find and swiftly place any supporters of The Resistance into the Dorm 2 Detachment as needed,” said General Ramirez. “Those who think Cadets should run the Corps believe in a system that is slow, broken, and sentimental. They fail to understand the vision we are working towards—a glorious army, 3,000 strong!”

Cadets found engaging in suspicious activity on social media have historically been reminded to step in line by high-ranking officials in the Commandant’s regime, or are reported to the Commandant’s Performance Review Board (CPRB), the panel of loyalist cadets tasked with extinguishing resistance.

The Commandant’s secret police are searching dorm rooms across the Quad, trying to capture members of The Resistance and any other dissidents willing to support their views. Most cases end with the capture of the brave fighters before being brought to Guard Room to face execution. One unsuccessful chase ended when an agent of The Resistance accused several CPRB operatives of hazing, forcing them to self report and face dishonorable discharge.

The leak of information and mass email have provided a glimpse of light into the reign of terror. The Resistance has inspired many cadets to break the conditioning and voice their opinion. “Honestly, I hope they get away with it,” said junior chemistry major Jake Andersen. “If the Commandant makes his big announcements from Facebook, I don’t see why cadets shouldn’t.”

“Someone finally found out how to take a stand without being crushed by CPRB,” said sophomore biology major Roger Thomason. “The board can only send the secret police after the founders of the movement, rather than an average cadet. It has gotten too large.”

Other students are relying on the massive crowd of support being voiced online to protect them from repercussion. “They can’t kick us all out right? I mean… not if he actually wants to reach 3,000 cadets,” said a junior cadet who wished to remain anonymous. “Godspeed to The Resistance and their battle with the Commandant. Maybe The Battalion will pick this story up and make it go national. Can someone get Rick Perry on the record?”

At press time, at least one member of The Resistance had been captured. The Mugdown remembers cadet Nathan Hale, who was executed inside of Ash II LLC after being pursued by members of the secret police. His last words were, “My only regret is that I have but one life to give my Corps.”


—Netflix & Drill and North by Northgate


Mugdown Staff

  • Richard Hay

    March 30, 2017 #1 Author

    If only satire could change policy…


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