First Friday, the monthly festival in downtown Bryan, has been a sanctuary for flannel-clad hipsters for decades, but a select group of students have felt persecuted by the recent influx of normal people. What used to be a lesser-known alternative to a night out on Northgate has become a mainstream hangout for a variety of different social groups. Armed with clothing purchased at the recently-opened H&M that they swear they found at Goodwill, the hipsters have banded together to create “Second Wednesday.”
“First Friday used to be a spot where I could socialize freely without seeing a single pair of Chacos” said one student, who, for no apparent reason, invoked her fifth amendment right to remain silent when asked her name. “Now every time I sit down to listen to my favorite local tambourinist I’m forced to be surrounded by people who have probably never even heard of The Boredoms.”
Reagan Prescott, a renowned hipster and amateur mandolin enthusiast, is one of the main architects of Second Wednesday. “Second Wednesday will feature lesser known local talent, and the best third-wave coffee bean grower in the south College Station area to provide beverages. In order to make sure that ‘fake hipsters’ don’t try to show up, we have obtained the entire list of BCA and Maggies members. Also we will be checking the parking lot for cars that do not have at least four national park stickers.”
Other students at Texas A&M have witnessed the strife within the hipster community from afar, and have some questions. “What’s First Friday?” asked junior SAE member Jefferson Daniel when asked if he had an opinion on the founding of Second Wednesday. “Is that like t-shirt Tuesday?” Jefferson’s comments match the consensus of most students interviewed on the subject.
Second Wednesday is being advertised almost exclusively at underground poetry slams, the Liberal Arts Building, and a select few Christian bubble events. It will take place in downtown Bryan and attendees have been asked to refrain from political discussions except when explaining why they are apolitical or when talking about their least favorite New Politics album.