In the age of commercialism, it can be easy finding money to fund the largest stadium in the SEC. New stadiums are not cheap, but they can be if your values are. Studies have shown that the best way to finance a large, elite athletics program is to take the most iconic, most traditional, most respected representations of your university and market the s*** out of them.
It recently came to the University’s attention that Reveille VIII had a large amount of unused space on her shawl. Under the supervision of Jason Cook, a small marketing team fresh out of Wehner High knew just how to capitalize on what previously had been wasted potential.
“We actually drew our inspiration from NASCAR,” said Senior Associate Athletics Director for External Affairs, Jason Cook. “It was not easy finding a sport more heavily saturated with advertising than football. The work they do there is breathtaking.”
Nothing says Texas A&M more than beloved mascot Reveille VIII, and nothing begs for a cash grab like the already highly televised First Lady of Aggieland. However, with the increasing competition from universities to out “bigger and better” each other, Texas A&M is looking to capitalize on more of the University’s famous icons.
Coming soon to campus will be the newly remodeled WWE Academic Thunder-DomeTM where you can purchase your new Bed, Bath & Beyond 12th Man Towel-ettesTM while snacking on some tasty Kellogg’s Century Tree-tsTM.
Now if only we could get Coca-Cola.
Don’t forget to put a penny or two on Sully as you leave; five percent of your donation will be passed along to the Susan G. Komen Make-A-Salvation Foundation Nation Club.
Is the name ironic? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, he’s been called that for longer than anyone has known him. He’s a sociopath and we don’t like talking with him very much. So when the man says he’s called Honey Bear, we make damn sure to call him Honey Bear. He gets his articles turned in on time though, so we keep him around.