Millennials Kill New Army
Early on Friday morning, President Michael K. Young, Chancellor John Sharp, and Student Body President Bobby Brooks held a joint press conference to announce the death of New Army. For years, former students and upperclassmen alike have mourned the death of Old Army, including the bygone days of hazing,... Read more
Student Convicted of Thoughtcrime for Opinion on Campus Life
Last Wednesday, senior journalism major Winston Smith was convicted for his Thoughtcrime. Smith was reported to the Ministry of Tradition after his roommate overheard him agreeing with his father—a former student—and his thoughts on a current issue on campus. The opinion that Smith shared with his father was not... Read more
Aggies Celebrate Annual ‘Death Raffle’ Tradition: “It’s What We’ve Always Done”
Despite humanitarian outcry and protest, freshmen students experienced one of Texas A&M’s oldest traditions for the first time Thursday night as the A&M student body celebrated the annual Raffle ceremony at Kyle Field. “It was amazing,” said freshman Jerrod McLaren. “I walked to Kyle with my DG friends. When... Read more
Archaeologists Uncover Cryptic TAMU Parking Signs’ Hidden Meanings
For years, the signs which indicate parking lots and dot the Texas A&M campus have confounded students and faculty alike. Recently, however, TAMU’s team of renowned archaeologists may have cracked the prehistoric code behind their symbolism. Most students are familiar with these ancient monoliths. Each sign prominently displays one,... Read more
Archaeologists Discover Ancient Classroom Hidden Behind Wall of Flyers in Blocker
Archaeologists working for Cushing Memorial Library came across a fascinating discovery this week after their Blocker excavation finally broke through. The team, led by Dr. Ted Goebel, uncovered an entirely forgotten classroom hidden behind the layers of flyers on Blocker’s interior south wall. The excavation began in 2016 after... Read more
Student Asked to Remove Thinking Cap in MSC
The Flag Room in the MSC lost its studying allure after several students were asked to leave for disrespecting tradition. Last night, junior Griffin Bronson donned his invisible thinking cap to study for his PHYS 218 midterm but was promptly accosted by the self-proclaimed tradition guard, Andrew Portsmith. The... Read more