Jimbo Fisher Takes Over as A&M Head Coach Out of Pity
It’s official: Jimbo Fisher will take over head coaching duties at Texas A&M out of pity, effective immediately. Rumors that Fisher was pursuing the opportunity to help the less fortunate have come to fruition. According to Fisher, leaving his prestigious position at Florida State to focus on charity work... Read more
Ancient Artifacts Suggest Long-Forgotten Thanksgiving Conflict Between A&M and UT
On Tuesday afternoon, Texas A&M archaeologists announced the discovery of ancient artifacts that suggest some sort of ritualistic Thanksgiving conflict between A&M and The University of Texas. The new findings, as reported by Dr. Ted Goebel, contradict the strongly-held administrative belief that A&M and UT are not rivals, and... Read more
Absolutely Outrageous Group of Friends Go to Whataburger Late at Night
Flying in the face of social convention, a group of absolutely outrageous friends drove to Whataburger at 2:11 a.m. early Friday morning. The five daredevils boldly pushed aside their normal eating habits to “make memories with their besties” on a trip that members of the group described as “totally... Read more
Two-Percenters Protest Being Dragged to Games By Sitting During War Hymn
Having been pressured into standing another four hours to watch a middling football program struggle through conference play, hundreds of two-percenters silently sat in protest during the War Hymn at Kyle Field Saturday evening. The protest was reportedly a response to calls from the university’s administration, Old Army, and... Read more
Aggies Celebrate Annual ‘Death Raffle’ Tradition: “It’s What We’ve Always Done”
Despite humanitarian outcry and protest, freshmen students experienced one of Texas A&M’s oldest traditions for the first time Thursday night as the A&M student body celebrated the annual Raffle ceremony at Kyle Field. “It was amazing,” said freshman Jerrod McLaren. “I walked to Kyle with my DG friends. When... Read more
GLBT Resource Center Moved to Utility Closet
Texas A&M announced Friday that the GLBT Resource Center offices will be relocated by mid-September. The resource center, established as a safe haven for queer Aggie students, will move from its current location at White Creek to a utility closet on West Campus. “I guess there were a few... Read more
Kyle Field Graduation Sends Message to Engineers: “Lower Expectations”
The ever-growing College of Engineering has announced that it would be hosting the 2017 commencement ceremony in Kyle Field.  Reactions to the news have been mixed: while some students were excited to turn their tassels inside the Home of the 12th Man, others recognized that the venue was outdoors,... Read more