Commandant Cancels Corps Brass Offensive Due to Mass Casualties
“Across the Quad, lads, for Commandant and university,” said fish Junger, before blowing the whistle on his lanyard. Twelve freshmen ran across the Quad, under fire from the possibility of having to salute bulls and greet upperclassmen. The first four fell where they stood, brought down by shin splints.... Read more
50 Shades of Khaki
It was a quiet night on Zebra Company’s deck. The sergeant of the day’s desk was empty and the sound of cadets gently snoring could be heard from the hallway. Despite the peaceful exterior, there were dark forces at work. One sophomore, Richard Hardonne, lay in his rack fighting... Read more
More Engineering Fish Must Flunk
The Mugdown continues a rich tradition of satirical publications at Texas A&M. Cushing Library and Archive houses copies of satirical publications produced by students from as early as 1916. The article below is reprinted from an issue of “THE BUTTALION,” released on April Fool’s Day in 1957. Sixty years... Read more
The Mid-Fish Crisis: Freshmen Suffer Across Campus
Following a semester of skipped classes, Chick-fil-A, rogue FLO all-nighters, and too much damn Fuego, every freshman must face the harsh reality of their second semester. After three and a half months of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed oblivion, many returning freshmen spiral into what is notoriously known as the Mid-Fish... Read more
Fish Camp Counselors Take Lead in Humble Brag Competition
If there is one thing your Facebook friends care about, it is your various accomplishments. Got an above-average score on that lab practical? Sounds like the perfect opportunity to harvest some Facebook likes! Got that internship with that company no one has heard of? Sing that s**t from the... Read more
Student Senate Targets FLO
Texas A&M University and the student body have faced many problems and controversies in the last year, from on-campus concealed carry to recent acts of racism, and many are wondering what can be done. Student Senate has been hard at work coming up with the solution that will hopefully... Read more
BREAKING: Mandatory Corps Enrollment for Class of 2020
In the biggest announcement since the “Lead By Example” halftime card trick, President Young has announced that all incoming freshmen will serve one mandatory year in the Corps of Cadets. Response across campus has been a mixture of excitement, extreme relief, and frightening rage. Brigadier General Joe Ramirez, Commandant... Read more
Top 10 Fish Camps This Year
This camp was in-tents. They totally had the wildest mixers.   Such a face camp.   This camp followed policy so well, completely dry.   So many perfect partz!   This camp was kept up continuity for the longest.   The best bonfire without a doubt.   Just a... Read more
Freshman Spends Gig ‘Em Week Befriending Future Strangers
Every freshman’s first tradition: fooling yourself into liking people you will never see again after the MSC Open House. We spent a day with incoming freshman Tyler Walker to get a better glimpse into this tradition that is as widespread as a freshman’s eyelids during their first test. We... Read more
LLAC: How to Not Be a Total Freshman
The Lonely Lighter Advice Column on: How to Not Be a Total Freshman Hey Lonely, I’m a freshman here at Texas A&M, but I keep hearing everyone talk about how annoying and oblivious freshmen are. I don’t want to be “that freshman”.  How does a fish hide that he’s... Read more