Spring Break Increases Student Diversity
The university once again took advantage of spring break before announcing its ethnic and epidermic diversity statistics. Photos of many sorority and fraternity members on their beach vacations provided the perfect proof for A&M’s new diversity campaign. Relying on a somewhat archaic method of rating diversity on slight variations in... Read more
University to STEM the Flow of Gender Inequality
Since the Industrial Revolution, Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (otherwise known as “STEM”) have been fields almost exclusively dominated by men. Unfortunately, there has been a recent push to insert women into STEM environments. Not wanting to be outdone, “FACE” majors have now been targeted as needing a more... Read more
Second Consecutive Female Corps Commander Sparks Fear
Tuesday, it was announced that Cecille Sorio will be the 2016-2017 Fightin’ Texas Aggie Corps Commander. As you might be able to tell by her name and/or picture she is, indeed, a female. If you are unaware, Alyssa Michalke is currently serving as the Corps Commander and, was the... Read more
Women’s Organizations: An Economic Analysis
With the introduction of Maggies in 1999, Texas A&M created a new segment in the StuAct Market.  The Maggies held a monopoly on membership for over a decade until the formation of the Aggie Belles in 2012.  Competition in the industry was minor and both saw growth.  A shortage... Read more
Aggie Bootchasers: A&M’s Newest Women’s Organization
The Aggie Bootchasers, founded by women looking to create a sisterhood between those who claim to support the Corps of Cadets the most, recently made their debut on campus. Founder and president of Bootchasers, Jessica Harwood, started the organization after realizing how hard it was to date a member of... Read more
Two-percenters Declare “Safe-Space” on Campus
In classic non-traditional format, the two-percenters on campus have voraciously declared a “safe-space” on campus for them to not practice any of A&M’s widely-permeating traditions. “We are tired of getting our feelings hurt by all of those outrageous traditions the majority of the student body participate in,” said a... Read more
Mugdown Lowdown: What is Love?
Mugdown Lowdown: What is Love?  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, we wanted to help uncover the real meaning of love. Based on your actual verbatim search results over the last two years, this is the best we can come up with: sexy aggies sexy nurse smoking cigarettes sexy... Read more
Sexas A&M, Home of the Twelfth Moan
Well, we hope you are proud of yourselves, you depraved collection of inglorious nymphomaniacs. Our intern quit after losing all hope in humanity from reading the depths of degeneracy on campus.  Enjoy your own deplorable display of bizarre deviance in the dorms. With that, there is only one more thing... Read more
New Howdy Online to Incorporate Dating Feature
Aggies will soon have a new way to meet. In January, Texas A&M Information Technology announced the development of an updated version of “Howdy,” Texas A&M’s official online portal used for accessing grades, eCampus, transcripts, and more.  Texas A&M IT is offering students an opportunity to test out the... Read more
Racism Doesn’t Exist Anymore, Claims Asshole
Bryan Salinger, a local idiot, believes that racism is a thing of the past. “No one is really racist anymore,” Salinger said, surprising this reporter by having the brain capacity to speak. “Sure there’s been some controversy or whatever recently, police shooting people or something. But those guys were... Read more