Student Spends 45 Minutes Browsing Netflix, Forced to Microwave Food Again
Communications major and major loser Justin Sedgewit sunk to new depths of self-depravity last week when he spent too long browsing Netflix and had to make a second walk of shame to the microwave. “I don’t know what to say,” said Sedgewit. So he didn’t. Sedgewit’s roommate, Brian Classeris,... Read more
QUIZ: Find Your Perfect Major

Go on a journey through this informative guide to discover your perfect college major!

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Racism Doesn’t Exist Anymore, Claims Asshole
Bryan Salinger, a local idiot, believes that racism is a thing of the past. “No one is really racist anymore,” Salinger said, surprising this reporter by having the brain capacity to speak. “Sure there’s been some controversy or whatever recently, police shooting people or something. But those guys were... Read more
December Graduate Already Complaining About New Army
December Graduate Already Complaining About New Army The Mugdown sat down with recent graduate Chip “Bucky” Reynolds for a Q&A session to discuss the changing culture at Texas A&M.   Mugdown: So, how have things changed at A&M since you graduated a few weeks ago? Reynolds: Everything’s different. These... Read more
A&M Allows Concealed Carry of Test Answers
Texas A&M will now permit students to use notes, cheat sheets, textbooks or any other form of assistance during tests. The new rule, which took effect on January 1,  is in accordance with a Texas Senate bill that requires universities to allow students to carry test answers with them... Read more
Top 10 Reasons Clickbait Is The Worst (You Won’t Believe #6!)
1. After extensive brainstorming and literally tens of minutes of googling, we put together a list of all the reasons to hate clickbait. You will never guess what we did next; we wrote this article about it. 2. The worst thing about clickbait articles is their misleading titles. The... Read more
5 Sexiest Layne’s Chicken Finger Boxes
This is one sexy box, it can handle a lot of meat. Who wouldn’t want to get inside this box? 2) That’s a nice handful of breast, maybe even two handfuls. Plump yet firm, this breast meat is begging you to bury your face in it. 3) This homegrown... Read more
The Top 10 Top 10 Top 10 Lists
We all have busy lives to keep up with and we want our entertainment quick. Just give us the facts and get out. This desire for quick entertainment has given rise to the popularity of the top 10 list. Brief and numbered for easy consumption, top 10 lists are... Read more
Syllabus Views Spike as Students Calculate Minimum Required Grades
Students all across campus are turning to their syllabi, searching for a glimmer of hope. Rick Thornbody, freshman engineering major and battle-hardened student, said college has changed him. “We laughed at the syllabus back then,” Thornbody said, with a harrowing look in his eyes. “Those were happier days. Freshly... Read more
Student Shot, Father Saves on Tuition
One Aggie parent is taking an early retirement after a shooter on Texas A&M’s campus killed four and injured three others. Kevin Guttman, father of deceased student Jerod Guttman, is looking forward to spending the money that would have otherwise gone to his son’s education. Guttman said his son’s... Read more