President Young Caught Without Human Suit, Exposed as Lizard King
In a shocking turn of events, President Michael K. Young was caught in his office in his true form as the Lizard King. Surprised by his secretary who forget to knock, President Young was seen on all fours scurrying around his desk with his human skin suit laid haphazardly... Read more
God’s Traffic Jam This Tuesday at 9PM
Breakaway Ministries announced today that its weekly traffic jam will be returning to West Campus this Tuesday night. Many participants in Breakaway cite this traffic as essential to their spiritual development. “Sure, I could worship Jesus on my own, but nothing beats learning to intentionally guard my heart during... Read more
Texas A&M Ranked #1 in Bullshit Metric
Texas A&M reached a major milestone this week when it was ranked as the #1 public university in the country in some bullshit, oddly specific metric. These rankings placed A&M as the #3 overall university in this meaningless and empty achievement behind two private schools with which you are... Read more
Northgate Bars to Hand out Relationship Status Bracelets
All bars on Northgate have announced that they will begin handing out color-coded bracelets for patrons to display relationship statuses that will help minimize awkward social interactions. “This is going to be a game changer,” said frequent Northgate patron Chad Williams. “I try to only hit on girls that... Read more
Students Concerned About Ominous “Machine” On Campus
Throughout the university, Texas A&M students whispered rumors to one another about a menacing threat on campus. Rumors about a “Machine” has an overwhelming majority of students uncertain about the nature of this entity running campus. The rumor began as students heard frequent reference towards a “Machine” by students... Read more
Mays Claims Independence and Tries to Sublease West Campus
The rift between business students and the rest of campus has been growing deeper and deeper in the past couple of years. Now, after watching Catalonia’s attempted secession from Spain, students from Mays Business School and the surrounding areas have decided that now is the time for change. Starting... Read more
Ghost Hunters Come to TAMU in Search of the Spirit of Aggieland
“World-renowned” experts of the paranormal Robert Borden and Mason Kleinfeld are visiting Texas A&M University for an indeterminate amount of time to lead the search for the Spirit of Aggieland. Borden and Kleinfeld are co-creators of Hillbillies and Hauntings, a company that “seeks to be valiant on every vanguard... Read more
SeaWorld Announces Expansion at Bizzell Hall
After recent speculation of their future development, SeaWorld Parks and Entertainment is excited to unveil their new attraction located at Bizzell Hall, opening in Spring 2020. Having already established a partnership with the Texas A&M University Galveston campus, with courses such as MARB 200: The SeaWorld Experience, SeaWorld’s Board... Read more
Car Wreck on George Bush Drive Caused by Shirtless Jogger
As the weather begins to cool in College Station, joggers have started utilizing every part of Texas A&M’s campus for their preferred running routes. One of the most popular running spots, the campus golf course, has long been a favorite for students who need a twenty-minute study break. The... Read more
Involved Student Admits to Hating Logie’s, Loses All Friends
Junior accounting major Braydon McAdams had it all. He was the Head Director of FLiP. He served as a Fish Camp counselor in two consecutive face camps and was on track to become a chair and make a face camp of his very own. He was accepted into Century... Read more