THE PICKERING FILES: The Machine (Part 2/3)
To read part 1 of this article, click here. Although satirical in nature, all facts, names, and organizations used in this story are entirely true. This story aims to expose a well-established political machine that has been selecting the Student Body President for years. Public information used in this exposé... Read more
Sul Ross Arrested in Austin, Faces Charges for Arson
AUSTIN, TX – The former governor of Texas and president of Texas AMC faces arson charges after police say he set a small shed on fire in Austin late last evening. Lawrence Sullivan Ross is charged with first and second-degree arson, malicious burning, and reckless endangerment, according to Travis... Read more
THE PICKERING FILES: The Machine (Part 1/3)
Although satirical in nature, all facts, names, and organizations used in this story are entirely true. Public information used in this exposé was found via AggieNetwork, Facebook, the Battalion and organizational websites. — “From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. And from the inside looking out, you... Read more
Geologists Confirm Ol’ Rock (The Good Ag) Between 6000 and 4.54 Billion Years Old
WASHINGTON D.C. — In a groundbreaking discovery made at the Geological Society of America’s 14th National Conference, geologists from Texas A&M University have confirmed that Ol’ Rock (The Good Ag) is 4.54 billion years old1. “After comparing notes with other eminent geologists around the nation and piecing together irrefutable carbon... Read more
BREAKING: Kasey Kram Wins Election
6:00 PM, FEBRUARY 21, 2014 — That’s right. You heard it here first. Out of what has been an incredibly heated election season, a winner has been announced. We beat The Batt to the punch on this one. Hell, we even beat the Election Commissioner on this one. Kasey... Read more


Local News February 18, 2014 0

Yesterday, a small branch of campus died. The phrase “C ♥ L” was found carved into the beloved Century Tree. Many believed it to be the work of a red-ass couple etching their name into the history of A&M. However, we have uncovered the seedy truth. Our team of... Read more
The Mugdown is Proud to Endorse Bailey Burrus
Our paper has been proud to accurately and impartially report the news this election season. We believe that even as a satirical newspaper, it is our responsibility to be unbiased during this process. However, after hearing the cornerstone of his campaign: plans for the ability to spend dining dollars... Read more
Sunday Comic – REID JOSEPH INPEACHED – 2/16/2014
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BLESSINGGATE:  Gus Blessing Casually Drops “Gus Bless You” into Conversation
Campus has been hit by a new marketing strategy from Gus Blessing’s Student Body President campaign. The Believe In Blessing team has decided to capitalize on flu season by shouting ‘Gus Bless You’ whenever somebody sneezes. “Half of campus has the sniffles and the other half has allergies, the... Read more
HOWARDSGATE: Birth Certificate Reveals Richmond Howard Not Actually 35 Years Old
Those “Running with Richmond” will be pleased to know that amid rampant controversy, Mr. Howard has produced his birth certificate. It is confirmed that his date of birth is April 6th of 1993, not 1978 as many had speculated. Richmond Howard is known for many things. He is the... Read more