Aggie Conservatives Guard Century Tree from LGBT
For Aggies looking to propose, there are few places more romantic than the Century Tree. It’s massive size and arching branches make it a scenic locale, and the long standing tradition surrounding it make the Century Tree the destination of choice for Aggies to get engaged. Not all couples,... Read more
Reveille Pregnant!?!?

Reveille Pregnant!?!?

Local News September 23, 2014 2

COLLEGE STATION, TX — Rumors about the famed and beloved Texas A&M University mascot, Reveille VIII, are circulating of a possible pregnancy for the First Lady of Aggieland. It is no secret that Miss Rev is prone to take naps virtually everywhere she goes, but it seems to have... Read more
Game Time Prayer Angers Zeus. Weather Happens.
Only moments after Kyle Kelly finished his prayer to the Hebrew God before the first football game against Lamar, another god stirred. In spectacular wrath, Zeus began to throw down lightning bolts to punish the bigotry of the Aggies. For hours, Zeus threw bolt after bolt, declaring that the... Read more
Goodbull Files for Official Rivalry with Batt
In a bold but expected move, The Goodbull Newspaper filed all the necessary paperwork with the University Wednesday to become the official rival of the Battalion newspaper. Editor-in-chief, Lauren Felder, told the Mugdown that the decision was made after a lot of careful thought and several trips to Northgate.... Read more
The Prophecy of Kyle
Early this morning, University officials called an emergency meeting following the surprising discovery of an ancient manuscript. Russell Bormann, sophomore Ocean Engineering major and Muster model, stumbled upon the document late Tuesday evening and quickly reported his find to campus authorities. “I came to Cushing in hopes of seeing... Read more
Could This Be the University Center’s Most Offensive Picture Yet?
Many students have taken note of the larger-than-life photographs popping up around campus as a part of University Center’s push to destroy the lives of students. The pictures range from students standing on the seal of Koldus to relaxing on the grass of the MSC. But perhaps the most... Read more
Group Message Leads to Fake Seizure
A false emergency nearly prompted a 9-911 call Wednesday afternoon as a student faked a seizure to play off the incessant vibration of a group message. The GroupMe assault came during a Chemistry 101 final exam. Things began to go south, according to witnesses when professor Simon North heard... Read more
Confused Ol’ Ag Breaks Into Kyle Field for Midnight Yell
With the Texas A&M spring Parents’ Weekend coming this weekend, the university wishes to give Aggie parents the best experience possible. A trademark tradition in Aggieland is the beloved Midnight Yell Practice, a surprisingly popular event amongst older generations who have not seen midnight in decades. Traditionally, Yell Leaders... Read more
On-Campus Housing to be Assigned by New Harry Potter Inspired Housing System
In an attempt to solve the growing issue of on-campus student housing, Texas A&M interim president Mark Hussey has decided to take a page out of a long-beloved book. Upon a student’s acceptance into the university, they will no longer be asked in which dorm they prefer to live.... Read more
Social Media Philanthropist to Donate Likes to Those in Need
Last week, Sarah Walker, sophomore communications major, shocked the world when it was discovered that her profile picture on Facebook had reached 13,459 likes. With the number still rising, Walker would like to thank her family, sorority, FLO, student council committee, Dance Arts Society, Century Singers, The Big Event,... Read more