Ancient Artifacts Suggest Long-Forgotten Thanksgiving Conflict Between A&M and UT
On Tuesday afternoon, Texas A&M archaeologists announced the discovery of ancient artifacts that suggest some sort of ritualistic Thanksgiving conflict between A&M and The University of Texas. The new findings, as reported by Dr. Ted Goebel, contradict the strongly-held administrative belief that A&M and UT are not rivals, and... Read more
Senior Gets Aggie Ring, Still Can’t Secure Job
Senior management major John Francis could not have been more excited to receive his Aggie Ring on Friday’s Ring Day. Although he cannot avert his loving gaze from his new piece of gold, Francis has found that it is not everything he expected. He spent the week before Ring... Read more
The True Cost of Songfest: A Mugdown Investigation
The Mugdown sends a journalist headfirst into the world of Chi Omega’s Songfest, Texas A&M’s largest philanthropy event, only to discover a system built almost entirely on social obligation. To read this story, click here. Read more
Service Dog Uniforms Changed to Discourage Smiling from Students
Pups for Pals, a Texas A&M organization that provides volunteers to train service dogs, announced this week that the phrase “Please Give Me Dirty Looks! I Haven’t Earned Kindness!” will be sewn into the right side of dogs’ vests. The updated vests, to be instated in January, will address... Read more
Geniuses Put Sticky Note Over Laptop Camera, Stop University From Spying on Them
Last semester, the Texas A&M student body found out that their very own university has been trying to crack down on cheaters and ne’er-do-wells by surveilling them through laptop webcams. After learning about the university hacking into their computers and spying on them, many students have been fighting back... Read more
Report: Construction Science Students Exploited for Free On-Campus Labor
It was recently uncovered that Texas A&M officials and professors have been using construction science students for free labor. With high construction costs a concern for this perpetually growing campus, staff of the university attempted to decrease costs by exploiting students. Many of the students did not realize that... Read more
Students Inconvenienced by Scholarship Banquet
An undue burden was placed on local student Ash Foucault after being forced to spend part of his Wednesday night at a scholarship banquet. Foucault, a senior supply chain major, was required to attend the two hour event during his regularly scheduled Netflix binge. The recipient of a departmental... Read more
Ignorant Student Mistakes Lecturer for Professor
Tensions have been growing among faculty members at Texas A&M after a student made a reckless mistake this week while addressing her teacher. Freshman accounting major Jamie Walsh found herself in an uncomfortable situation after she sent an email to her ACCT 229 lecturer that began “Dear Professor Shaw.”... Read more
Student Who is “Terrible at Names” Finally Admits to Not Even Really Trying
Kyle Erikson, a senior marketing major, has claimed for years that he is one of the worst at learning names and can only identify people by face. The issue has gotten so bad that when someone tells him their name, Erikson immediately forgets it and has to ask at... Read more
TAMU Student Finds Purpose in Belittling Blinn Students
Every year, new freshmen come to College Station to attend Texas A&M. Often, they have friends who end up in the desolate wasteland of Bryan, at the institution colloquially know as “Blinndergarten.” “I want to preface this by saying I am extremely smart,” said Ben Novak, freshman communication major,... Read more