Local Comedian Discovered Thanks to Balls Hung from Back of His Truck
As Spring Break rapidly approaches, many students have taken time off their busy schedules to cut back and hang loose. One hilarious student has taken it a step further. Chad Hayes, a ‘super senior’ on his ‘second victory lap’, spent $40 on a surprisingly detailed plastic replica of a... Read more
Student Drops Gluten-Free Diet to Drink Beer
A revolutionary health trend involving the exclusion of gluten from the diet has lately gained prominence in the realm of dieting, primarily as a method of weight loss. Ever health conscious and trendy, many students at Texas A&M have decided to restrict their diets to the consumption of only... Read more
THE PICKERING FILES: The Machine (Part 2/3)
To read part 1 of this article, click here. Although satirical in nature, all facts, names, and organizations used in this story are entirely true. This story aims to expose a well-established political machine that has been selecting the Student Body President for years. Public information used in this exposé... Read more
Sunday Comic – Battman – 3/2/2014
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Sul Ross Arrested in Austin, Faces Charges for Arson
AUSTIN, TX – The former governor of Texas and president of Texas AMC faces arson charges after police say he set a small shed on fire in Austin late last evening. Lawrence Sullivan Ross is charged with first and second-degree arson, malicious burning, and reckless endangerment, according to Travis... Read more
THE PICKERING FILES: The Machine (Part 1/3)
Although satirical in nature, all facts, names, and organizations used in this story are entirely true. Public information used in this exposé was found via AggieNetwork, Facebook, the Battalion and organizational websites. — “From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. And from the inside looking out, you... Read more
Geologists Confirm Ol’ Rock (The Good Ag) Between 6000 and 4.54 Billion Years Old
WASHINGTON D.C. — In a groundbreaking discovery made at the Geological Society of America’s 14th National Conference, geologists from Texas A&M University have confirmed that Ol’ Rock (The Good Ag) is 4.54 billion years old1. “After comparing notes with other eminent geologists around the nation and piecing together irrefutable carbon... Read more
Sunday Comic – Bisbee – 2/23/2014
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BREAKING: Kasey Kram Wins Election
6:00 PM, FEBRUARY 21, 2014 — That’s right. You heard it here first. Out of what has been an incredibly heated election season, a winner has been announced. We beat The Batt to the punch on this one. Hell, we even beat the Election Commissioner on this one. Kasey... Read more
The Mugdown’s Guide to Voting
There are many different candidates for SBP this election season. If you’re like us, you’re probably still trying to figure out who to vote for, because, let’s face it, we know nothing about these candidates. So, we did our research and have made a simple and easy to read... Read more