HOWARDSGATE: Birth Certificate Reveals Richmond Howard Not Actually 35 Years Old
Those “Running with Richmond” will be pleased to know that amid rampant controversy, Mr. Howard has produced his birth certificate. It is confirmed that his date of birth is April 6th of 1993, not 1978 as many had speculated. Richmond Howard is known for many things. He is the... Read more
KOLDUSGATE: The Seedy Underbelly of TAMU Politics Revealed
This letter was delivered late last night, February 12th, to Mugdown HQ addressed from former Student Body President, Jeff Pickering. At first we did not think anything of it, that is until we opened it. The following are the unaltered contents of his letter: Mugdown, If you received this... Read more
Christian Bubble Bursts, Floods Reed Arena
COLLEGE STATION, TX — At Breakaway on Tuesday night, the Christian bubble at Texas A&M burst. At the crescendo of the famous song by David Crowder, “How He Loves”, the bubble became so full of raised hands and loud voices that it simply could not hold up any longer. The... Read more
Election Commisioner Bans ‘Explosions in the Sky’ from All Campaign Videos
COLLEGE STATION, TX – At the Mandatory Candidates Meeting on Sunday, Election Commissioner, Allison Krenzien announced a dramatic new change to the 2014 Election Regulations. “This campaign season, videos promoting student body elections cannot feature any music from the band Explosions in the Sky.” Krenzien said. The uproar from... Read more
Sunday Comic – The Buttalion – 2/9/2014
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Texas A&M to Add Real Animal in Four Star Running Back
COLLEGE STATION- Texas A&M University has secured the final piece of their already impressive 2014 class in a four star running back out of Georgia. The school was quick out of the gate recruiting this year and the last minute addition is an important pick up for the Aggies.... Read more
Brother Jed to Accept Philosophy of Religion Position at Blinn
Blinn students will be pleased to see a familiar face describing the merits and nature of religion next semester. This afternoon, the school announced the hiring of Jed Smock, known to many as Brother Jed, as the new Philosophy of Religion instructor. According to the official Blinn course catalog,... Read more
Texas A&M to Transition from Pepsi to Coca-Cola
In a move that has shocked the campus, Texas A&M University Dining has announced that it will be severing ties with PepsiCo. In its place, University administrators have awarded rival company Coca-Cola Bottlers Consolidated the exclusive right to sell products on campus. The University’s contract with PepsiCo, a multi-year... Read more
Code Maroon Lampoon!
Yesterday, January 28th, 2014 — a date which will live in obscurity — The Maroon Lampoon was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the forces of The Mugdown. The Maroon Lampoon was at peace with the rival newspaper and, at the solicitation of The Mugdown, was in conversation with The... Read more
Student Actually Reads Syllabus
College Station, TX – In a twist of events that surprised even the professor himself, it appears that a student in his Introduction to Accounting class has read the syllabus. Despite requiring this mundane assignment every year, this is the first time on record that a student has in... Read more