Texas A&M Ranked #1 in Bullshit Metric
Texas A&M reached a major milestone this week when it was ranked as the #1 public university in the country in some bullshit, oddly specific metric. These rankings placed A&M as the #3 overall university in this meaningless and empty achievement behind two private schools with which you are... Read more
Northgate Bars to Hand out Relationship Status Bracelets
All bars on Northgate have announced that they will begin handing out color-coded bracelets for patrons to display relationship statuses that will help minimize awkward social interactions. “This is going to be a game changer,” said frequent Northgate patron Chad Williams. “I try to only hit on girls that... Read more
Students Concerned About Ominous “Machine” On Campus
Throughout the university, Texas A&M students whispered rumors to one another about a menacing threat on campus. Rumors about a “Machine” has an overwhelming majority of students uncertain about the nature of this entity running campus. The rumor began as students heard frequent reference towards a “Machine” by students... Read more
Mays Claims Independence and Tries to Sublease West Campus
The rift between business students and the rest of campus has been growing deeper and deeper in the past couple of years. Now, after watching Catalonia’s attempted secession from Spain, students from Mays Business School and the surrounding areas have decided that now is the time for change. Starting... Read more
Professor’s Accent Forces Student to Skip Class and Not Study
This morning, Jim Lovett, an equestrian math major at Texas A&M, picked up a stack of Q-drop forms after receiving his first round of exam grades. Lovett claimed that his professor’s “unintelligible” foreign accent was to blame for his subpar test scores. The Mugdown met up with Lovett last... Read more
Ghost Hunters Come to TAMU in Search of the Spirit of Aggieland
“World-renowned” experts of the paranormal Robert Borden and Mason Kleinfeld are visiting Texas A&M University for an indeterminate amount of time to lead the search for the Spirit of Aggieland. Borden and Kleinfeld are co-creators of Hillbillies and Hauntings, a company that “seeks to be valiant on every vanguard... Read more
SeaWorld Announces Expansion at Bizzell Hall
After recent speculation of their future development, SeaWorld Parks and Entertainment is excited to unveil their new attraction located at Bizzell Hall, opening in Spring 2020. Having already established a partnership with the Texas A&M University Galveston campus, with courses such as MARB 200: The SeaWorld Experience, SeaWorld’s Board... Read more
Bagel Theft Prompts Chartwells to Hire Security Guards for On-Campus Dining Halls
It is a common practice amongst Texas A&M students to take food out of the dining halls across campus. Whether students are in a rush or just want to save a bit for later, swiping a little extra food has been common practice since the university began serving meals... Read more
Millennials Kill New Army
Early on Friday morning, President Michael K. Young, Chancellor John Sharp, and Student Body President Bobby Brooks held a joint press conference to announce the death of New Army. For years, former students and upperclassmen alike have mourned the death of Old Army, including the bygone days of hazing,... Read more
Students in Long Term Relationships Defer Commitment Issues to Senior Year
Junior finance major Braxton Bolton and junior petroleum engineering major Rachel Descartes have been dating since freshman year. They met at a party between their two FLOs and ended up dating soon after. Both are well liked, athletic, and high achieving, and most people think the relationship is destined... Read more